That’s Not a Policy!

Hello, just figured I’d share my Karen of the week with you all.

Backstory: I work for an ISP (also TV and Phone) that’s relatively big. Call comes in and she’s immediately being passive aggressive about the hold times with our Billing Department. I go ahead and answer her Billing question because it only takes a minute to look at her account and answer, even though I’m in E-Commerce (online sales). Anyway, onto the important part. Skipping irrelevant parts. Sorry it’s so long, and sorry for mobile formatting.

Karen: “Now, my grandma is here and she wants cable. Can we sign her up?”

Me: “Sure, no problem!”

I talk to the grandma, get her permission to set it up with granddaughter, yada yada. Karen back on the phone.

Karen: “So I see it’s $57.99 for the TV. Can’t we get a cheaper option?”

Me: “Well, we do have just the local channels. That would be $19.99 plus taxes and fees.”

Karen: “What channels does that have?”

Me: “Just the local channels, so local news networks, QVC, C-Span.”

Karen: “What about HBO? Lifetime? HGTV?”

Me: “Sorry, none of those are locally broadcasted networks.”

Karen: “Ugh fine. I’ll take that with a free installation.”

Me: “Unfortunately, this package doesn’t come with a free install. It’ll be $49 to install the service.

Karen: “Listen, I work in a call center. I do your job and I know it’s not that hard. Tell a supervisor to give me a free installation.”

Me: “I am sorry, but we can’t offer a free installation for this package. It costs more for us to send the tech out and pay him for his time than it would for one month of this service since it’s a value package.”

Karen: “Bullshit. Tell your supervisor I need a free installation.”

So at this point I just want her off my phone. We get $500 per month we can use to credit accounts to help close the sale, but for such a low sale I’m not using a full $50 of that. The only available supervisor right now is my friend, and she gives less of a crap than I do about catering to entitled people, so I don’t bother reaching out, but I decide to cover $30 of the installation to make her happy.

Me: “I have been authorized to take $30 off the installation, so that makes your installation fee just $19. Will that be alright?”

Karen: “Um no, I needed it free.”

Me: “Unfortunately I can’t make that happen. This is already heavily discounted, and again, it’s for our least expensive service possible, so we can’t justify a free installation.”

Karen: “Whatever. We’ll take it. My grandma really needs the service.”

Now I go ahead and get her grandma’s info for the account. Mind you, this is at almost 15 minutes now. We run a public records search to verify whether there are any write-off bills they owe… Sure enough, Granny was on the last account at the address, with a $250 bill due.

Me: “Alright, I apologise, I am actually showing she was on the last account at this address, which has a balance due. That will have to be paid before we can set the service up.”

Karen: “No, she’s never had service in her name.”

Me: “It’s not in her name, but she’s listed on the account, and her phone number is the main contact number for the account.”

Karen: “Right, so we don’t have to pay it. When can we install?”

Me: “Unfortunately, per our policy, if she’s listed on that account she’s responsible for the bill.”

Karen: “What? That’s literally not a policy. That’s you making something up. I work in a call center, that’s not a policy and it doesn’t make sense.”

Me: (completely over it by now) “Ma’am, I’ve been working here for over 7 years [true] in several different departments including Billing [true], and that has always been our policy. Even if she weren’t on the account, if Collections can prove she was living there, she’d be responsible for the balance anyway [true].”

Karen: spews a bunch of examples of situations in which someone shouldn’t have to pay someone else’s bill just because they’re authorized to call about the account [in certain situations I can agree, but obviously her grandma was living there with the previous account holder, who I can only assume was her deceased or former husband]

Me: “I’m sorry again, ma’am, but it will have to be paid, per our policy.”

Karen: “LET ME TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW. THAT IS NOT A POLICY, YOU CLEARLY DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO YOUR JOB.”

Me, putting her on hold mid-sentence: “Sure, let me get you to her so she can explain the same policy. Just one moment.”

Friend supervisor takes the call. Says “Sorry, but according to kalamitykode our public records search says she was living there. She has to pay it.”

Karen, to grandma: “Yeah you’ll have to pay it.”

And she instantly hangs up. I didn’t even get a chance to start the next call before the escalation was over. Maybe sometimes you should listen to someone who is clearly experienced.