“oh you don’t need to apologize, it’s not you I’m mad at”
“Oh but I do really need my order at the aforementioned impossible moment. Is there any way to receive it on time?”
“Hey, it’s Mr. Name. ….. “
“How can this go wrong, I ordered months ahead” (although slightly understandable as a question, the answer “because shit happens” never satisfied)
“And how do you think that will solve anything?” After green lighting a refund they ask for as compensation.
“I never get hold of you people”
“I cannot seem to reach the appointed service desk (queue at 3 minutes) which is why I rang your number. Now help me, or patch me through” (with the queue being 6 minutes ATM, add call duration of current call and customer takes 8 minutes just to present their problem)
“I understand you cannot make an exception here. But, could you, for me, make an exception to this?”
“Why can you not guarantee 100% success rate?”
“I’ve paid for my order…” at any point in any service call. Yes, it’s why we speak today.
“Why don’t yóu bring me [item] right now?”
“My bank statement didn’t show your transaction, therefore you must credit me again” especially fun with credit card companies that process in batches