I do software support for a CRM.
There’s a bit of background here that I’ll have to keep deliberately obscure for safety reasons, but basically, with the CRM, there are two “main’ types of users – Regular Users, and Admin/Owner users. The Admin/Owner user is the person who signed up for the CRM for their company, and manages all of their employees under said CRM. The employees in this case are Regular Users. Every Regular User gets to manage their own clients and whatnot under their own account, but they are still subject to anything set up by the Admin/Owner user, because that’s THEIR boss. If a Regular User calls in and demands that tech support do something for them on their account, such as changing permissions or deleting the account altogether, we tell them to go to their Admin/Owner and/or loop them in on the request. We basically just have to hear from the Admin/Owner to make any changes, or they have to make it themselves for the user in question.
With all of that said, let’s talk about Kevin.
Kevin called in about two weeks ago, and I was the “lucky” person to get him on the phone. Here’s a paraphrased version of that conversation:
Kevin: Hey, how do I stop getting these emails from you?
Me: Hey there, do you know which emails you’re receiving that you believe shouldn’t be coming to you?
Kevin: All of them. I’m not with you guys, but I’m getting emails from you and I want it to stop.
Me: Ok, do you mind providing the email address that these emails are coming from?
Unsurprisingly, there is an account in this guy’s name that comes up with this email address. Unfortunately for Kevin, it’s a Regular User account. Everyone with an account gets regular system notification emails that can’t be turned off, and a lot of people do call in asking to have those disabled. However, the “not with you guys” comment made me a bit suspicious.
Me: So, I looked up your email address, and it does look like you currently have an account with us under [Company Name]. You mentioned you’re not currently a user of [CRM], would you be able to clarify what you mean by that?
Kevin: Yeah, I’m with a completely different CRM, I never wanted to use [CRM] but my boss signed me up with an account with you guys. Can’t you just turn off the emails?
Me: I’m afraid that because these are system notification emails, there isn’t a way to disable them, and I apologize for that. However, you can-
Kevin: Well, can’t you delete the account? I never wanted this, my boss signed me up for it.
Me: I’m sorry, but due to our policy, I’m unable to delete user accounts without permission from the Admin/Owner. If you’d like this account deleted, your best option here would be to speak with the Admin/Owner who created the account for you-
Kevin: What do you mean “you’re unable to delete it”? This is YOUR software.
Me: Yes, but since your Admin/Owner was the one who purchased the software, they have direct control over any additional employees added to the user list. We can’t delete user accounts unless they authorize us to do so or choose to complete the action within their account. If you’d like, I’d be happy to loop them in on an email about-
Kevin: (fucking interrupting me) That’s unbelievable. This is YOUR software, YOU support it, so why can’t YOU delete it??
Me: I cannot delete accounts without permission from the owner of [Company]. However, if you don’t want to receive the emails in your inbox anymore, you can either set up an email filter in your email account, or you can log in and change the email on the account to a different one.
Kevin: No, no, no, I just want it deleted, there’s no reason you can’t just go in there and delete it or tell me how I can delete it.
Me: I apologize, but I cannot do this without permission from the owner.
Kevin: This is ridiculous, I can’t believe you won’t support your own software. *hangs up*
A week later, I get yet another call from him. Rinse and repeat the conversation above, with the added caveat that he told me he’d “called in last week to get this done and it was never resolved”. D’aww.
However, upon being given his options, yet again, the call ended with this gem:
Me: I completely understand how frustrating this must be for y-
Kevin: No you fucking don’t. *click*
I’ve notified our managers about what’s going on, as well as the rest of the support team so Mr. Interrupting Fuckhead doesn’t scare any of the newbies into deleting his account for him. The whole thing smells of stank, just given how quickly he goes from 0-100 when told we can’t delete the account, and how Kevin refuses to accept any other resolution other than Support deleting the account for him and having no contact whatsoever with his Admin/Owner. Haven’t heard from him since last week, but I’ll be interested to know if he decides to try again.
TL;DR: Guy wants us to delete his account, and we can’t due to policy. Guy won’t accept any options and ends up making himself look sketchy as shit.