Apologies for the cheeky phone format. TLDR at the end.
To start with I work in a fraud department of a bank. I get a wide variety of calls mostly to do with fraudulent payments, and security check unblocks. That being said I have a variety of calls in between that can be relatively entertaining for my job role.
On this particular occasion I had a customer call through to myself about a payment that he wanted stopping. Which would be fine should the transaction be fraudulent. The conversation follows between the agitated fellow (AF) and myself (M) :
M: hello you’re through to M at mystery Bank, how can I help?
AF: hiya there I should have 200 odd in my account but there’s not because I need a payment stopping, can you sort this out please?
M: sure I can certainly look into that for you, could I ask was this payment made by you?
AF: no it weren’t
So as usual we go through security to investigate the transaction and it shows as a pending transaction to a dating and escorts service for £45. At this point we’re required to do some questioning to make sure it is actually fraud.
M: okay so do you give authorisation to anybody else to use your debit card?
M: okay, and who is that?
AF: my friend
M: aand when do you give him authorisation for your debit card?
AF: all the time, whenever he wants or needs it…
M: soo, could he have done this transaction?
AF: Yes he did do it, he did it as a joke.
M: Okaaay, you do realise this ISN’T fraud and we can’t prevent that transaction from passing through onto your account then.
At this point my headset is beginning to radiate due to the rage coming from AF.
AF: WELL WHY IT’S MY ACCOUNT I DON’T WANT THAT TRANSACTION TO GO THROUGH!
M: I understand that, but because you have, in all technicality, authorised your friend to have full access to your card then we cannot amend any payment made by either yourself or your friend. The reason being is because this would be illegal to stop payments at a whim after services have been received.
AF: so what I’ve lost £45 because of a joke?
AF: WELL, why can’t you stop it? other banks can.
M: No I’m afraid they can’t.
AF: So what am I supposed to do now?!
M: Well we can potentially raise this as a domestic fraud case to get your money back, but that would be on the grounds of your friend being prosecuted for the fraud.
AF: What, so get my mate locked up for a joke?
So at this point it is quite fortunate that I am a fraud advisor and I am required to be quite stern and abrupt when dealing with irate customers.
M: I’m sorry but how is this a joke? You’re not laughing and neither am I, so how is any of this a joke?
AF: what? do you not have a laugh with your mates like?
M: Yes, but certainly never by committing fraud on my account.
AF: so are you going to stop this payment then?
M: no, we’re not and towards that I would certainly contact the police with regards to this.
AF: fine! I’m going to go the bank and withdraw 200 pounds and switch banks!
M: no you’re not you’ll be withdrawing £155…
AF:… FUCK OFF!!!!
Needless to say, I felt pretty satisfied about that.
TLDR: Customers “friend” made a payment likely to porn and wanted it stopped. I told him no so he switched banks in a huff.
submitted by /u/Funkygun