Now, I thought he said “scan” at first, so I said, rightly, our directory is just by name, not title or department. He repeats again he wants the SCAM department, S-C-A-M. I sigh deeply, anticipating a long call.
Me: Can I get your first and last name to try to pull up any information?
CALLER: Can I get YOUR first and last name?
me: Yes, my name is [first name].
CALLER: Okay, my name is [first name].
me: and how do you spell your last name sir?
CALLER: what is your last name?
me: I’m sorry, I can’t give that out. I need your last name to direct you to the correct place.
Him: It’s [quick garble of letters].
Me: Thank you [still no idea what he said, but whatever], can I get your birthdate please?
Him: What is your birthday?
Me: Mine is October 11th.
CALLER: Okay. Mine is January 8th.”(no year given). They are good for the lottery.
Me (trying to be congenial): Oh I’ve never tried the lottery, maybe someday!
Him: you’re telling me you can’t afford a $1 lottery ticket? (me: seething internally, I don’t get paid enough to deal with people like you) me: nope! I’d rather buy groceries!
We go back and forth for another few minutes.
I finally drag the year out of him and which state he’s in. “Oh I see you have a policy here with [disability/short term/individual/etc].”
“Oh, yeah, huh, that does sound familiar. Okay, transfer me over to them.”