So at work (still at that other bank. No, not that one), I had a customer who needed some transactions verified. He was in branch. Security was done and I asked the customer to confirm the payments that we stopped.
Then I thought I’d be nice and polite and kind since he didn’t give me any trouble. Turns out that was a mistake.
I will be ME and the customer will be FI for Fucking Idiot. Amounts have been
ME: Thank you very much for confirming these ATM withdrawal attempts. As you’ve confirmed them with myself, you can now use your card at any ATM. As you’re in branch I don’t mind holding so you can try it at the branch’s ATM just in case something else occurs, however that’s unlikely. It’s up to you.
FI: Sorry I don’t understand. Can I use my card again?
ME: Yes sir. Like I’ve said, I’m willing to wait whilst you try the ATM in the branch so that if anything unexpected happens I’ll be here, ready to help.
FI: (slightly annoyed for some reason) I still don’t understand. Would YOU! like me to use my card again? Do I have to?
ME: No sir. You do not have to. I have just offered to stay on the phone so that if you try again and there’s still a problem you won’t have to wait in the queue!
FI: But I don’t understand. Is my card working again? Why do I have to use it again?
ME: (Listen here, muppet) No sir, I just offered to stay on the line if you want to the card in the branch’s ATM. Alternatively, I can end the call right now. I’m happy either way.
FI: Errm I don’t really understand but thank you anyway. I’m going now.
I close the call, make sure I’m on mute, and call the customer a dickface in front of my manager (no write-up). This is why I sometimes don’t want to help people.
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