Disrespectful Dog

A man called me at the library reference desk just moments ago. I greeted him with the usual,

“Hello, __ Public Library, this is ME, how can I help you?”

It turned out that this man has a melodiously deep voice (abbr. MDV), which can be a problem for me as I tend to have a harder time hearing/understanding low frequencies. I turned my phone’s volume up and strapped my brain in – this conversation was going to take a little more effort than normal.

MDV started to tell me what he wanted, but suddenly a little dog let out a loud “yip” in the background. Without a moment’s hesitation MDV shouts in his loudest voice,

“Shut up I’m on the phone that’s very disrespectful dog!”

I’m quite positive he did not move the phone from his mouth.

I was first deafened, then stunned, then I immediately started typing his words into the nearest text box. Because honestly, who actually believes that their dog understands the concept of “phones” or “respect”?!

Fortunately, our tale does not end here. MDV continued to explain, while I was still stunned and missing words, that he had checked out a movie from the library and wanted to know where to get a copy. Specifically, he asked if someone could make a copy for him.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s actually illegal. You could try buying the [1980s comedy title] from Walmart, or check Amazon or eBay..”

MDV: “Well where do you buy movies from?”

Me: “I buy my movies from Amazon.”

MDV: “No where do you buy movies from? Like the library!”

Me: “Oh. [brain wrrrrs] We buy our DVDs from a company named ___.”

MDV: “Could I buy it from them?”

Me: “Uh, [wrrrr] I don’t think so… They mostly deal in high volume sales. We have an account because we spend thousands of dollars a year with them.”

MDV: “Well can you give me the phone number, or is that supposed to be a secret?”

Me: [According to a basic Google search,] “The number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.”

Good luck, sir.

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I just love trying to talk to you while it sounds like you’re in wind tunnel.

That’s a good question