A time when the caller is about to tantrum and solves their own issue.

Mother calls in today, naturally with no information release on file, and the primary borrower and cosigner are naturally unavailable to give permission. This on the first day after we get a new edict that we cannot answer “any general questions” anymore to nonauthorized parties any longer. (I love it that those who devise these CYA policies don’t take calls and actively avoid handling escalations caused by such policies, but I digress)

Instead of offering to help in any way that I can without a release on file, which usually had the desired effect of smoothing the waters, I had to use the “new and improved” talk off that I really can’t answer any questions at all because there isn’t a release for her.

She glosses past this, and says: “All I need is the amount of interest my son paid last year for tax purposes.”

Me: “Once again, this is sensitive and protected information that I cannot provide without a release.”

Mom in a tone that is dangerously on the verge of a blowup: “Jesus!”

Me: “Tell you what, we mailed out the tax statements about two weeks ago. Let me put in a request to have another mailed to your son and just tell him to be on the lookout from an envelope from company XYZ. They are also available online if he needs it sooner.”

Mom audibly shuffling papers in the background: “What, is this company XYZ?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mom: “Oh, it’s right here.”

Me: “Great, is there anything else today?”

Mom: “No, thank you.” Click

I just had to shake my head at that one and try and process it for a minute during my wrap up….she calls the number from a billing statement, which has our name on it, goes through the IVR, which states our name multiple times, gets through to me, and I give our full company name, and only finally realizes she had the necessary 1098E tax statement sitting in front of her the entire time. And these people walk amongst us unattended….

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“I am being very respectful, and I would appreciate the same in return.”

I’m telling Trump!