Long time lurker first time poster sorry about formatting on mobile. I’ll be “Me” and customer will be dumb broad “db” for short. () are my commentary.
Me: Thank you for calling “Insurance Company” this is Me speaking may please I have your name?
DB: Yes I want to make a payment. (we’re off to a great start when we can’t even listen to the questions and answer them correctly)
Me: I’d be happy to assist in making a payment for you can I just get your name, zip code and date of birth for verification and account security?
DB verifies yada yada you all know that drill.
DB: So I just want to pay my bill using my daughter in law’s card so I don’t cancel (well crap dil is not the policy I have no way to verify her so my company doesn’t allow us to use that payment card because of “banking laws” aka we don’t want to get revoked charges and lose money)
Me: I’m sincerely sorry ma’am but I can’t take any card not in your name or your husband’s name since you’re the only two drivers in the policy and I have no way to verify someone else. I could take an electronic check payment which takes several days to clear and you could get cash from your daughter in law and put it in your bank account tomorrow before it clears to cover it.
DB: (raging like I killed her puppy and stomped her grandchild) I cannot do that my bank is 120 miles away in town!!!! Just put that it’s in my name!!!!!
Me: I’m so sorry ma’am I can’t do that it will decline on the banks end for fraud if the name doesn’t match (not necessarily true but it’s what I’m paid and trained to say and if I don’t I get written up)
DB: Your apologies help nothing! How much would I have to pay tomorrow if I cancel and need to start new? (I calculate the customer is behind for November and December and would have to pay a new down payment because of how insurance works, don’t rage at me so don’t control it)
Me: That would be $669.15, that’s for 2 months past due plus a new one month down payment.
DB: I only have to pay $223.05 today what the hell?
Me: I understand your confusion ma’am and I’m so sorry. You’re currently as of today to avoid canceling paying November of $223.05 if you stayed active we were making January a double bill of $446.10 to cover the past due December and the January payment but it you cancel for non payment and reinstate we can’t push the past due balance forward it has to be paid all at once and we need a new down payment of one month to start the policy from scratch.
DB: (Literally screaming like a possessed person in an exorcism movie) You dumb fucking cunt I’ll kill you and rip out your still beating heart, my husband will rape you and every women in your family I hope you die a slow agonizing death, stupid ugly fat bitch, I hate you I hope you die on Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Customer hangs up.
Me to me: Well it can’t get worse than that….