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Don’t foist your crazy people off on me.

I take escalated customer service calls for a subscription service. Today, an agent transferred a call to me because the customer had their banking institution on the line.

I pull up the account and am able to verify that the customer has been ordering the exact same package, with the exact same price and exact same billing plan, for the last decade. This is not an exaggeration, she has literally been ordering the same thing for a decade. At this point, I’m confused and wondering what this customer could possibly be calling about that would require her bank on the line.

Customer verifies account and gives permission for me to speak with banking agent. I then spend 10 minutes verifying that the customer has had the exact same order with the exact same billing schedule and payment amounts for years. Finally, after repeatedly telling the customer that I see no reason that she would have been sent a bill recently, and that we do not have a balance due for her of $40, I discovered that the statement she is referring to is one from her credit card company.

So I then spent 15 minutes trying to explain the concept of a credit card to this woman, and that a statement she receives from card company has literally nothing to do with her account status with us. All while this useless credit card agent sat there on the line, occasionally interjecting questions that just required me repeating the exact same information.

Seriously, dude. You have all of the same account history that I have, just from the other end. You knew damn well that she had had the exact payment three months ago, and three months before that, and three months before that. You knew damn well that she had not been charged $40, and she called you about a statement she got from you. Do not try to make this my problem. I have already explained to the concept of a credit card to two customers in the last two weeks. I was not planning on doing it a third time tonight.

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