I work for a utility provider in the U.S. This was my first call of the day. They are paraphrased because I think I’m witty, my responses are verbatim.
“My property management company handles over fifty different locations in your city, and one of them received a courtesy shutoff call this morning. Can you do my job for me and tell me which of our bills we haven’t paid? No, I have no idea what the account numbers or addresses are, what are you crazy?! That’d be work!”
“I’m sorry, but we need one of those two fields to search by.”
“Then how am I supposed to tell which property it was?”
“I dunno, try checking your mail and seeing which of your bills you haven’t paid in awhile?”