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Ma’am, there’s not a word in human language to express just how much of a “no” I can say to that request.

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backstory: work at call center for a financial institution.

Today: Lady calls in and after questions and her rambling for about seven of the most confusing minutes of my life I’m able to determine:

She has a credit card, she has a debit card and she doesn’t know the difference between the two.

Now the credit is one those ones that earns points. So she got the card 6 months ago and started spending like there’s no tomorrow so she can earn herself a bunch of reward points.

That alone takes a kind of logic I dare not give myself a stroke trying to figure out. But I digress.

So she calls to check on her expected many, many reward points and turns out she has…none. This is because she hasn’t been using her credit card but instead, her debit card.

So now her checking account is way the hell overdrawn, half her bills didn’t get paid and she wants–I shit you not–she wants us to take all the transactions that’s done on the checking for the last 6 months, undo them and re-do them using the credit card so her checking account will be fixed, the bills will get paid and she’ll have her precious rewards points.

She literally wants us to go back in time and change history.

At least once a week I’ll say to myself, “That’s the most ridiculous, unbelievable thing I’ve ever been asked” and somewhere a person like this is waiting by the phone going “Hold my beer.”

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What do you think?

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Real heart dropping moment

I had a “handholding” call today