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I’ll start with a couple I had today and one I still remember from my first week.
Call 1:
Me: “Thank you for calling *company* my name is Hachey97 how can I help you today?”
Cx: “Hi are you in the US?”
Me: “I am in Southern Ontario, Canada ma’am.”
Cx: “Oh, ok. I just had eye surgery, I’ll call you back.”
*ends call*
Me: ???
Call 2:
Cx called in because her brothers account was in non-pay and we shut off his service.
Me: “ma’am the reason your brothers service has been shut off is because there is an outstanding balance on the account that has been there for some time. The balance will have to be paid to resume service.”
Cx: “but why should he have to pay if he isn’t getting any service?”
Me: “he isn’t getting service because of the outstanding balance.”
Cx: “No, he doesn’t owe any money because he doesn’t even have any service.”
Me: “yes he doesn’t have service because he hasn’t paid his bill.”
Cx: “but he sent you a check for 20 dollars”
Me: “yes but that’s not the whole amount owing, there is still a balance of 58.18 on the account”
Cx: “But why?”
Me: “Because he didn’t pay for his service”
Cx: “what service? He doesn’t have any”
And on and on until she requested my supervisor who told her the same thing.
Call 3:
Cx: *incomprehensible gibberish that sounds kind of like if Jabba the Hutt was hammered*
Me: “I’m sorry but I literally cannot understand a single thing you are saying”
Cx: *incomprehensible gibberish continues for about five minutes*
Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t understand you whatsoever”
Cx *incomprehensible gibberish* “cancel” *incomprehensible gibberish*
Me: “okay I heard the word cancel in there, I’m gonna need you to respond to this question with a clear yes or no. Do you want to cancel?”
Cx: “ya”
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