I work remotely for an insurance call center handling complex technical calls, taking escalations, and handling some light underwriting work. Most of my calls are ho-hum technical calls, a lot of which involve me teaching reps more about insurance than training ever did. I handle escalations about billing and underwriting, which are almost always a variation of “How dare you tell me that you won’t insure me for free!” I work a late shift, so I handle more than just the Garden Variety Crazy or Demanding Karen. I handle the ones who are willing to call an insurance company at 2 a.m. to yell at someone.
Picture it: Your intrepid writer is 20 minutes away from the end of her shift. This has been a relatively uneventful shift, all things considered. No one was particularly demanding, stupid, rude, vulgar, annoying, or some combination of any/all of these. Probably should have anticipated that this would be too good to be true.
Call comes in from a rep who starts out by saying that she’s tired, she should have been off the phone fifteen minutes ago, but this customer has too many questions. Rep also tells me that the customer is claiming to be an influencer, so she demands a refund because she didn’t receive her renewal offer timely because of a typo made on her email address. While the rep is telling me this, I note that the policy was written by the customer online and that at no point in time did this customer ever contact a sales rep who would have altered the email address. So the typo that the rep used as justification was made by the customer’s own fat fingers. Rep also had customer attest to no claims between the time of the renewal’s original due date and now. In other words, rep made a turd-stuffed Oreo into a double-turd stuffed Oreo for me to de-escalate. Fun.
Influencer Gal comes on the line, then goes on to bitch and moan for twenty minutes about how she only found out about her policy lapsing because she *logged into her policy online*. She says she has at least 150,000 followers on (redacted platforms here). Therefore, she wants a refund.
Me: “So, I see that you just made a payment on this policy twenty-five minutes ago. You realize that your policy effective date was then backdated by the rep who put you through to me, right?”
IG: “Well, yes, but I didn’t have the coverage at that time, so I want you to refund me for it. If you don’t, I’ll make sure my followers never consider your company.”
Me: “Okay, so you want to show a one-month lapse in coverage and take the risk of incurring a fine with your state, then?”
IG: “No, you guys made an error on my email address and didn’t let me know about the renewal. I want you to backdate the coverage ***and*** refund me for the month. If you don’t, I’ll be going to (lists multiple social media platforms here).”
Me: “Well, we *did* let you know about your renewal via USPS. Whether or not you read the notice that was sent is irrelevant at this point. Furthermore, you mentioned to me that you had access to your policy online, even with the incorrect email address.”
IG: “So am I getting a refund or not?”
Me: “No, you’re not. The email address typo was made when creating the quote, which was done online as opposed to being completed by a rep with this company. The only error made on this policy by us was backdating the start date of your renewal term, which actually ends up benefiting you because the state will now see no lapse in coverage.”
IG (Ramping up to whine some more): “You’re terrible at your job and should be fired! My followers need to know that (redacted company) doesn’t care about their customers!”
Me (Giving zero fucks at this point.): “As far as I’m concerned, you have the option of either leaving this policy as is and calling it a night or, if you’re really that dead set on not paying for that range of dates, having me update the term to what it actually should have been based on due date versus payment date. If I do the latter, you’ll be responsible for the fees your state will assess you for the lapse in coverage, which would be a lot higher than what that one month’s worth of coverage is costing you. What do you want to do here?”
IG: “I want your name.”
Me: “My name is mentalgopher.”
IG: “What’s your last name, mentalgopher? I’m putting this on (redacted social media platforms listed here.)”
IG: “Spell that for me.”
Me: “N as in Not giving it, O as in out to you.”
IG (Realizing that I got one over on her): “You’re rude and I’ll make sure to email corporate about you after I post this recording on (redacted social media outlets).”
Me: “You’re welcome to email corporate about me, but as I live in a two-party consent state and never consented to *you recording me*, I’m going to strongly advise you not post this to your various social media outlets before I disconnect this call.”
IG (Not sure how to interpret that): \*Assorted sputtering, then -CLICK-\*
How can you not appreciate the irony of using an idle threat of an influencer who was trying to get her way using idle threats?