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Some people just can’t be helped.

Call center for a credit union.

Lady calls up today desperate, begging me to let her overdraw her account by $2500.

First, so much no. Second, what?

She tells me it’s an emergency! I need this money now!

I’m thinking car broke down, house flooded, medical, something.

Nope. Turns out her amazon account has been hacked and someone in Texas is buying up all kinds of stuff but she has the amazon rep on hold and he can fix it she just has to buy these gift cards so he can pay the people who’ve been scammed.

Unmitigated bullshit. We’ve all had this one. I’m like “Ma’am, **NO**. You need to listen to me carefully…this is not legit. It’s a scam. Do not give him any money, do not give him your debit card number, do not even talk to him anymore…”

Too late. She tells me she’s already done it. I pull her acct up on screen…between cashapp, venmo, zelle and the debit card she’s already given him $4500, all she has left is $23.

I lay it out for her, close the card so they can’t use that anymore, tell her to get herself to a branch so she can get a new card, get a printout of her account history and go to the cops ’cause ya done goofed. She’s bawling her eyes out, not much I can do for her except tell her to make sure she hangs up on the dude, don’t talk to him, don’t answer his calls or texts, just be done with him.

Ok, she says, thank you, etc, etc.

End of call.

Two hours later she calls back mad as hell. She’s tearing into me, livid, pissed ’cause I scared her and almost messed her up so bad she couldn’t finish getting her amazon problem settled. Turned out she did exactly what I told her not to do, got back on the phone with him and he convinced her it was all legit and she’s expecting her refund from amazon in a few days.

“It was all for real and you had me so scared! Why would you do that to somebody!? You just wrong! He getting me my money back in a few days and everything gonna be fine”

Good luck with that, ma’am. I’m sure I’ll be talking to you in a few days when that mythical refund from amazon doesn’t show up and I’ll be more than happy to tell you “I told you so.”

BTW, she was 24 years old. People say they prey on the elderly but the truth is they prey on the gullible and the dumb. 24, 74 or 104 that lady would have bought it hook, line and sinker.

What do you think?

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The Most Helpless Human in Texas

I want my iPhone