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Customer was finally right about something.

Call center for a credit union.

So, every Christmas season, for some horribly unwise reason, my CU gives out a gift certificate for a box of candy redeemable at a reasonably well known candy retailer.

Our acct holders think they’re entitled to this box of candy. They live and die by this box of candy. For some it’s literally the only reason they have the acct.

Such was the case with today’s lady. She calls in wondering why she didn’t get her gc for her precious box of candy. I look at the acct. She doesn’t qualify. See, it’s not just every single person gets the candy. You have to meet certain requirements such as length of time with the CU, amount in your acct, no collections, no past due loans, etc, etc. She opened the acct in January, stuck $100 in there and forgot about it. All because someone at her work told her if she opened an acct she’d get that box of candy.

I explained it to her and she lost her damn mind.

“YOU’RE A FUCKING LIAR! YOU’RE A GODDAMMNED LIAR!!! YOUR WHOLE BANK IS A BUNCH OF FUCKING LIARS AND YOU’RE GOING TO HELL FOR TREATING PEOPLE LIKE THIS!!!”

Normally I’d hang up on someone doing this but given the reason she’s calling–a $20 box of candy–and her reaction, I just let it play itself out, her breakdown was rather amusing all things considered.

“Yes, ma’am, box of candy, it’s very important, I understand.”

“IT IS IMPORTANT! IT’S MY CANDY AND YOU STOLE IT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!” Argh, argh, grrr, argh, blar blar yell some more and scream.

Then she says she wants to close the acct if she can’t get her box of candy. I smile knowing what happens next.

“You’ll have to visit a branch to close the acct, ma’am.”

Another round of blathering wailing and screaming and swearing and she says “Everyone in my office is staring at me now, do you know that!?! You’ve embarrassed me now!!!” and a little bit more screaming which she punctuates with the most accurate statement she could make: “This is so stupid! This is all so stupid! All this!?!? Over a box of candy?!?! It’s so stupid!”

I got a big grin and said, “Ma’am, I couldn’t agree more.”

And then I hung up.

What do you think?

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