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M- Me C- Customer
M: “May I get your–”
C: “Account number?”
M: “No sir, may I get your–”
C: “Ugh, my phone number is 123-456-7899!!”
M: “Okay, thank you for that information, but I need your–”
C: “MY NAME IS J O H N S M I T H JOHN SMITH”
M: “Okay, thank you, John, but I am needing your PIN or pass code”
C: “My PIN NUMBER is JOHNSMITH123”
M: “That sounds like it might be your password, a PIN consists only of numbers, it is a personal identification number…”
C: “HOLY SHIT, you people need more information than Fort Knox!!”
M: “I understand your frustration with our verification process, but we are striving to maintain your account security and we–”
C: “JOHN SMITH! JOHN SMITH! JOHN SMITH! I ALREADY TOLD YOU MY NAME, THAT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH. DO YOU THINK I WOULD LIE ABOUT WHO I AM??”
M: “Okay, sir, and I appreciate you providing that information to me. If we cannot verify the PIN, it’s okay, we can just verify your social security number.”
C: “HAHA!! IF YOU THINK I’M GIVING YOU THAT, YOU’RE EVEN CRAZIER THAN MY EX WIFE!! AND LET ME TELL YOU, SHE WAS BAT SHIT!!”
M: “Haha, I see, well, sir I do apologize we aren’t able to verify what is required by our system, did you have general questions I may be able to answer without account access?”
C: “That’s all I needed, how much is my balance? What number called me yesterday at 4 p.m.? What is my billing address on file?”
M: “Alright, those are great questions that I wish I could help with, they are specific to your account, though, so I won’t be able to release that information. Would you like me to walk you through using our website?”
C: “Oh, screw this, you’re useless!!”
((Hangs up))
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