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In Which My Job is (Emptily) Threatened

Hello readers! It’s me, from the trenches of the reservations office!

My office also handles season passes and other stuff around the resort.

Now, fellow phone jockeys, I’m sure your respective workplaces have policies and procedures. We have to know those policies inside and out.

This is especially important when it comes to ski resort season passes. Season pass policies are put in place for a specific reason. At my place, season passes are non-transferable and non-refundable, not even partially. This is a generally-accepted industry standard.

In this call, I have to enforce this policy because it’s my job. I’ll be Me, he will be Old Entitled Man (OEM).

(Ring ring)

Me: Good morning, thank you for calling (my office), this is MazdaValiant, how may I assist you?

OEM: Hello there. Here’s the situation: I bought a season pass, but I’ll be (age redacted) by the time the season starts. Would I be entitled to a partial refund because of that?

Me: That I’m not sure. Let me check with my supervisor. (Puts him on hold)

Me to supervisor: (Repeats situation)

Supervisor: No, because our system goes by age at the time of purchase, and the fact that passes are non-refundable.

Me: OK, thanks, Supervisor!

Me: (Takes OEM off hold) Thanks for your patience. Unfortunately, our system goes by age at the time of purchase, so you wouldn’t qualify this season—

OEM: (Interrupting me) That is a lame explanation, so you might want to think about it a little more. I’ll talk to (resort president) if I have to.

Me, internally: Good luck with that. I know him well enough to know he’d back me up.

Me to OEM: Okay. Anything else I can assist you with?

OEM: You’re just a ray of sunshine, aren’t you?

Me, internally: What’s that supposed to mean? You gonna try and get me fired for doing my job? Good luck with that, pallie.

Me, to OEM: …anything else I can assist with?

OEM: You keep smiling.

Me: Okay, have a nice day. (Click)

Some guys are just ridiculous!

What do you think?

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I got to flag a customer’s account

“I need you to just be quiet and let me talk, got it?”