I work for a mobile (cell) service provider in the UK and had this joy of an idiot earlier today.
G: genius caller.
Sorry for formatting. I’m on mobile.
There is a large issue with mobile signal in his particular smallish town. There had been a spate of vandalism targeted at any mobile mast in the area, (found out the other 3 major suppliers are similarly affected for same reason) as a result an area that is normally covered by 5 masts for our network is now covered by 1 temporary, vehicle mounted mast with limited capacity.
Me: Hi thanks for calling <network>, my names <insert name here>, how can I help?
G: my phone isn’t working. I need my phone, its the only way I can speak to people.
Me: (security done) I’m sorry to hear that, let me check your postcode and see what’s happening.
I can see that the masts in your area have been subject to vandalism and are currently out of service. 1 mast is being repaired and will be restored within 48 hours, 2 more will restored within 5 days. 2 unfortunately were destroyed entirely by fire and has resulted in damage to the buildings they are placed on but they are redundant masts so full service will restore with the 3 main masts. (Turns out the buildings are riddled with asbestos so will never be restored. Alternate sites will be located but that’ll take years)
G: Not good enough, I have no way to make any calls. I can’t be cut off from the world like this.
Me: I appreciate its inconvenient but it is temporary and we have restored a limited service enabling call and text, data will take time, by using a vehicle mounted mast system, it had lited capacity but can provide basic service. If I may ask how are you making this call?
G: on my landline but what if I need to call a mobile?
Me: your landline package covers all calls to landline and mobile ( his landline is with us too so I checked).
G: But why can you give me full service and limit everyone else?? Surely I’m a priority!!!
Me: the overall service is a priority. We have the same commitment to all our customers. The service has been damaged beyond use by people in the area, not by our choice to limit you deliberately.
G: but if you stop someone else surely I can have my service.
Me: and how would you feel if we did that for someone else and removed your capacity in favour of them.
G: but you wouldn’t do that, it would be fair!!!
(Approx 10 seconds silence)
G: oh, I see. Well I still think it’s unfair I am treated the same as everyone else.
He hangs up.
I have no words…
(Sorry for the verbal diarrhoea, story telling isn’t my strength but among all the calls I’ve ever taken this is the most weirdly oblivious exchange I’ve had)