A Tale of Three Morons



So I work for a major firearms manufacturer in the US. Specifically, I answer calls in the service division. I have troubleshot firearm repair and service from everything from commercial owners to law enforcement and military. In other words, I am the low paid company nerd.

I had one client email me, years ago, indicating that he has a pistol that he purchased from us, *infested with bed bugs.* He even wrote, “you heard that right! Bed bugs.” (At least he was humble). He wanted to know how to stop the infestation before carrying his pistol concealed. Naturally, I told him to field strip the firearm and soak it for a few minutes in mineral spirits, clean and lubricate it. But yeah, though I had heard it all.

The worst offender was a caller from about two years ago. He owned a pistol that was purchased from us. He neglected to purchase a safe….you know…the thing responsible firearm owners have. He then left for vacation, opting to leave his pistol loaded–*in the microwave!* When he returned from vacation, he forgot it was in there, and decided to reheat his coffee without looking inside the microwave first.

Mind you, the pistol is a combination of polymers, steel, and aluminum, not to mention–*explosive gunpowder!* Use your imagination on what happened next.

He then had the audacity to ask if we would cover his pistol destruction under warranty, as well as replace his microwave and compensate for damages to his kitchen. HA! No.

The last one was a guy who decided to clean his precision rifle (what the uninitiated would call a “sniper rifle.”) LOADED–in his bedroom! With his wife in the next room over in the direction of the muzzle. In the moment, he managed to pull the trigger, discharging the rifle. The bullet travelled through the wall and blew a hole in his large $3,000 flatscreen TV. He demanded that we replace his TV because the rifle should not have gone off without him pulling the trigger–which he clearly did, and did not want to admit it.

Just in case you thought idiocy was limited to insurance and IT call centers…


What do you think?

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Why are people so allergic to the “Password reset” button?

Anxiety even follows me into my new callcenter job.