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The most pointless 23 minutes and 42 seconds of my entire life. So far.

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Call center for a credit union.

Lady calls in, wants to make sure an insurance company can’t continue to bill her. I’ll spare you the painful process by which I discovered all this but it’s like this:

She has already cancelled the insurance policy.

She is coming into our branch to close her account today.

She still wants to file what’s called an ACH Stop Payment form, a document that directs us to prohibit a company from takign the payment from her acct.

I explain to her that since the policy is cancelled with the insurance company they almost certainly will not be billing her anymore but even if they got it into their head to do so once she closes the account there’s nothing for them to bill.

Doesn’t matter. She wants to complete the form. And no, she can’t wait until she goes to the branch to close the account, she has to get it emailed to her right now so she can fill it out…again, despite the account being closed today and my insistence she do so at the branch especially because the form won’t get processed for at least two business days by which point all of this will be moot.

Doesn’t matter.

And naturally she understands literally nothing about the form so I had to walk her through *every single line*.

At least she was really grateful and appreciative at the end and said she would write a thank you letter. Oh wait, none of that happened, she ended the call by saying “thanks for making all this so difficult.”

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Customer gets angry because I did exactly what he asked me to do.

Not my best comeback ever…