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Stop. Trying. To. Understand.

Kinda ranty I guess? This woman got past all my checkpoints and made the entire thing really exhausting. Please for the love of all that is holy, if you’re calling in for help, stop questioning the advice you’re given.

First off, I work in tech support for HVAC. End users are not supposed to be calling us. They call us, thinking we have some magic that can be done over the phone that they can do themselves so they don’t have to spend more money.

But they do. All the time. Because they get the phone number off the website and think it MUST be for them.

Old woman: “My unit isn’t heating.”

Me: “Call your contractor.” (some people accept that and hang up here)

Old Woman: “Oh, but it’s ever so cold. Can’t you help me?”

Me: “Ok, are there any lights blinking?” (This is a false help but it makes them feel better. It does not matter what the pattern is, whatever is wrong with the unit requires a contractor from a very simple communication error to replace a board to needs refrigerant. ALL problems need a licensed contractor.)

Old Woman: “Yes. The red one is like a heartbeat and the green one turns on every so often.”

Me: “I need you to COUNT the lights. How many red, and how many green?”

Old woman: “The red light blinks… now. … now…. now.”

Me: “You need to call your contractor.”

Old Woman: “So what does it mean? What’s wrong with my unit?”

Me: *Goes though some exhaustive explaining to get her to count the damned blinks. FINALLY getting her to count the damned blinks for a proper error code.”

Me: “Turn the unit off at the breaker, wait 5 minutes then turn it back on. If that does not clear the error code, you need to call you contractor.” (Usually giving them something simple to do makes them go away)

Old woman: “But what does the error code mean?”

Me: “There is something wrong with the thermistors.”

Old Woman: “There’s something wrong with the thermostat?”

Me: (Does not have time for this shit) No, THER MIST ERS”

Old Woman: Oh, what’s that? It’s a part in the machine?”

Me: Yes. (Dear fucking God, I am not about to give you HVAC training in order to understand this shit. Get someone who does)

Old Woman: Ok. But can’t I fix it?

Me: (Ok,then fuckwit.Let’s do it. Let’s fix this shit. What is your standing pressure? Can you tell me what voltage you’re getting for L1 and L2? How about your ground? NO? You have no idea what that is? Wow, it’s because you don’t have tools or training for this. I can’t do this either, you’ve just got a gatekeeper on the line) “Please just call a contractor.” (For the 6th fucking time.)

And users get upset when their contractors have to sit around on hold for two hours at $100 an hour to get through but can’t possibly see any cause and effect ever.

What do you think?

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One my craziest calls

Called out by two callers for things out of my control with sexual harassment and racism