Call center for a credit union.
Calls comes in, first thing I hear is an angry, exasperated sigh. Always a good sign, it’s going to be a fun one, I know it.
“I’ve been on this shitty web site of yours for 45 minutes trying to get my monthly statement and it doesn’t work! Your site is awful! It’s terrible!” etc etc so on and so on.
“Okay, ma’am so you’re signed into online banking, you see the menu bars on the top, it says *my accts* and *billpay* and there’s three horizontal lines, you see those?”
“NO! Those don’t exist, you’re a liar!”
Sure, I only look at this all damn day, I’m just making it up to fuck with you.
I proceed to ask her what she’s looking at, what she sees and she describes it to me and I realize she’s looking at the mobile version of the site.
“Ma’am, are you your phone or a tablet?”
“What difference does that make?”
“If you’re using the mobile version of the site, it won’t show you the statements, you’d either have to get them in your email or access the full desktop site.”
“Don’t give me that shit! I worked in IT I’m good with computers, I know how computers work!”
That was the point I knew we would never make any real progress here but then it got better, she says: “I’m using a Microsoft tablet and MS Edge, that’s the best computing equipment out there, anything wrong is wrong with your site!”
You don’t have to be up for the lead in the remake of *Hackers* to know how very wrong that is but I let it go.
“…suuurre…..ok. So it’s defaulting to the mobile version of the site, you need to find the desktop version and then you can see your statements.”
She proceeds at this point to again rant about how bad the web site is, how bad we are, how bad I am, how I’m lying and don’t know what I’m talking about and says “This is not a me problem, it’s a YOU problem!”
“No, ma’am, it’s a tech support problem and you need to call Microsoft tech support to tell them how to get to the desktop version of web sites.”
More yelling, same shit. Again, she says “Why does it matter if I’m on a mobile version–even though I’m not–what difference would it make?”
“Well, you *are* on mobile and you can only access the statements through the *desktop* version of the site. Like I said.”
“That’s your opinion!”
“No…that’s a fact.”
“GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR! How do you even have this job!?!? You don’t deserve to have any job much less this one!”
I put her on hold, get the supervisor, explain this lady’s psychosis, transfer. Afterward, I ask the sup what happened and she tells me “Nothing, she said she talked to Microsoft tech support while she was on hold and they fixed the problem but that you don’t belong in customer service.”
Well…we agree on something, anyway.