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“I’M GONNA GET MY LAWYER AND SUE YOU!”

Me: Me MB: MegaBitch

I work at a debt collection agency. This was my first call out for today AND the first call I picked up:

Me: Good morning! Is (Insert name here) available?)

MB: “Goddamnit this is she my date of birth is (Insert here) Who do I owe now?”

Me: “(Reads Miranda) today we do have a total balance of ($$) to (Insert client name)”

MB: (Steadily getting louder) “That’s bullshit! They have my card on file why would they send ME TO COLLECTIONS?!”

Me: “Ma’am we are just the messengers I have no idea why they moved you to collections.” (I could’ve said because you didn’t pay your bill, but she already seemed pissed enough.. Kinda wish I did now.)

MB: “TELL ME WHY THEY MOVED ME TO COLLECTIONS!!!”

Me: “Ma’am I understand you’re upset, but please lower your voice-”

MB: “NO YOU LISTEN TO ME I’M GONNA CALL THEM AND IF IT TURNS OUT I DON’T OWE ANYTHING I’M GONNA GET MY LAWYER SUE YOU PEOPLE FOR HARRASSMENT!” and she hung up

At this point I put her on the Do Not Call list. If she wants to act that way, let her come to us in 6 months when it’s on her credit report. BUT obviously it doesn’t end here because MB has to call back:

Me: “(Insert company name) this is McNuggeteer, how can I help you?”

MB: (already starting off loud) “Yeah, I just spoke with (Client) And I want to know what happened to the payment plan I had set up and why this wasn’t covered?!”

Me: “Well ma’am it looks like you started the payment plan in May. The accounts were moved to us in November. We can’t run payment on accounts not in our system-”

MB: “THEN HOW COME I NEVER HEARD OF THIS AND WHY IS THE TOTAL DIFFERENT THAT WHAT (Client) GAVE ME?!”

Me: “Well ma’am there were the principal balances and there are older accounts of these totals-”

MB: “Hold on you are going way to F****** fast do I need to get a manager on the line?!”

Me: I’d be happy to transfer you if you’d like-”

MB: “Yes I would!”

*I attempt to transfer*

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am but my manager is currently on the line with another person. Would it be alright if I got you aver to her voicemail and she could give an immediate call back?”

MB: “NO IT IS NOT I CAN WAIT”

Me: (Completely over this already) “Ma’am I understand you have time, but I do not. There are other people calling in-”

MB: “I DON’T CARE I WAS HERE FIRST!”

Me: “Alright, let me see if another manager is available in a different office.”

MB: YOU DO THAT!”

(Call goes straight to voicemail)

Me: “Ma’am I’m sorry but she is not picking up either I understand you can wait but I cannot wait with you as we have other callers-”

MB: “OK LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKING BITCH IF I LEAVE A VOICEMAIL WITH YOU MANAGER I EXPECT A CALLBACK WITHIN THE HOUR OR ELSE I’M GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY LAWYER!!” Annnnd she hung up immediately after that.

SO! Guess who ISN”T getting a callback from my manager? Should’ve left a message. Currently waiting to see if IT calls back to complain.

*edited for spelling

UPDATE: She never called back. I hope she tries to sue us. That’d be funny.

What do you think?

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i did it. i hung up on a customer.

“They don’t need to know that!”