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If you’d stop talking then I can help you

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Utilities call centre.

Info: Customer is on prepayment meters, luckily they’re smart meters so we have a lot of access to see what’s going on with their top up and such. They get “friendly credit” times where they can’t go off supply regardless of credit balance, it ends at 10am.

My call started at 9.30am and I think you can see where this is going….

I can get these calls done in less than 10 minutes. That also happens to be the time it took to get this customer back on supply once they followed the 3 or so steps I needed them to.

50 minutes we were locked in some ridiculous battle where I just wanted to slowly walk through about 3 or 4 steps to fix the issue and she wanted it to be 20 steps. That we’d repeat. Several times.

You know the sort, the interrupt everything you say, they add extra details and continue to complain about a problem they had months ago and when you ask them to press a button or tell you what they can see it’s like a starter pistol to mash their hands at whatever they can see!

TL/DR
Total call time: 50 minutes

Actual time fixing the issue: 10 minutes

Escalating the call at the end to the complaints team because she went off supply and she blamed us….

Priceless.

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Systems down, but still have to take the calls

Sir, you’ve just brought a whole new stupid to the world.