I know how much money I have!!

(Customer- C, Me- M)

M- It looks like payment of 500 was declined by the bank account that was used.

C- That’s impossible, I have 5 thousand in there!

M- I do apologize for any inconvenience this poses, but it would be the bank declining the payment, not the requestor.

C- Just run the card on file!

M- (runs card instead of the bank account) Again, I do apologize, the card was also declined. Would you like to try a different card?

C- That’s the card that has all my funds, just run it again.

M- (submits payment request again) I’m sorry, this payment method is being declined. The reason code is due to insufficient funds.

C- So I guess you just don’t want me to pay my bill!!

M- I assure you, that is not the case. I have tried to collect the funds, but your bank or card company is declining it in each instance.

C- I have so much more money than you even know, this is ridiculous!!!

M- I understand your frustration, I would contact your bank to find out why they are telling us the funds aren’t avavailable.

C- I guess I just won’t pay my bill if you don’t want my money then!

M- That is totally up to you, I will leave a note on your account regarding this conversation, though, and indicating the next steps I have suggested as a resolution. If you choose not to take the next step and contact your bank and also allow your account to remain past due, I won’t be able to guarantee your service will stay active.

C- All because you don’t want to take my money, that’s rich! You refuse my money when I *told* you it was there, and then you’ll cut me off. Wow!!

What do you think?

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You know who really makes my day? The legitimately crazy ones.

I’m not getting off the phone until I speak to a manager