sO yOu cAnT hElP mE?

An ignoramus chat in upset why our system won’t let them add credit to her account balance. My tools show her third-party payment method didn’t have enough money. She responds with, *”So you can’t help me?”*

I had to remind myself one more incident of rudeness to customers and the company would terminate me — it’s a dream to get out of this industry, but now’s not the right time. Driven by survivability, I learned how to deliver well-sounding statements that would otherwise get me in trouble; case in point below!

What I had in mind: *”You’re a spineless, stupid irresponsible brat who can’t take accountability to rectify your mistakes so you pin it on someone and feel better by abusing them all because of your sad pathetic bruised ego.”*

What I said: *”Thanks to the information you provided, I was able to inform you specifically why the system won’t let you add credit and therefore how to fix it — in this case: the fix is to add funds to your payment method first.”*

They replied asking how to add funds to their third-party payment method! It’s obvious we don’t manage that payment method; it’s like asking Samsung how to deposit cash into a Wells Fargo account.

What I had in mind: *”You don’t seriously fucking expect us to be trained for the procedures and how-to usage of a completely different company’s service? Also, fucking Google it and stop depending on everyone around you to get ANY shit done!”*

What I said: *”As that is a service not managed/operated by [company], us [company] chat support do not have training & knowledge for that. I personally do not use it either so it’s beyond me, I apologize, but the internet is a compendium of knowledge – luckily for us both! So, personal experience-wise: for things we do not know we could try a Google search for ‘how to add funds to [their third-party payment provider] account’. I hope that helps!”*

They didn’t thank me or apologize — expected — but stayed and had more questions throughout answered to their unholy heart’s content. Soon they ran out of questions and shot me a parting “ok” then ended chat without even a simple “bye” for courtesy’s sake.

The thought of them passing away in the future, as we all inevitably will, is enough to calm me down. Jesus, this job is making me lose my sanity.

What do you think?

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2 most creative insults I’ve received were both today.

But I didn’t get a bill…