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How we know you aren’t really listening:

**Scenario 1:**

Lady: “I’d like to make a payment on my account”

Me: “Sure! What’s the name on your card?”

Lady: *starts reading off the card number*

Me: (-_-)

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**Scenario 2** (*This one is a lot more common that you’d think although I suppose another reason could be that they just don’t know the word ‘spouse’*)**:**

Lady: “Hi, I’d like to talk about *insert male names here*’s accounts.”

Me: “Of course! And are you the spouse of the debtor?”

Lady: “No, he’s my husband”

Me: (-_-)

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**Scenario 3:**

Me: *finishes taking a payment for a payed in full account* “And you are all set! These are our credit removal policies” (about 120 days), “do you have any questions?”
Lady: “No, I’m good thank you.”

*25 days later*

Lady: “WHY ISN’T THIS OFF OF MY CREDIT REPORT YET?! YOU PEOPLE TOLD ME IT WOULD COME OFF!”

Me: “Ma’am this is what you were told”

Lady: “Well that’s not what the other representative told me!”

Me: “Ma’am I was that representative this is what we told you” (-_-)

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**Scenario 4:**

Lady: “Why are you people still calling me?! I paid everything off with you already!”

Me: “No, ma’am, you only paid the accounts on your credit report. We gave you the left over balance.”
Lady: “Well I don’t remember that!”

Me: “Ma’am the original balance was” (*I’m pulling these numbers out of my ass for example, they are not accurate*) “$1500. You paid $1200. $1500-$1200 does not equal $0. We absolutely told you about this.”

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These are just a few examples, I’m sure I’ve forgotten quite a bit.

What do you think?

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I’M OFFICIALLY OUT!

You’re illiterate AND you’ve failed geography.