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Hi customer, I can see what you’re typing before you send it!

I used to work for a telecom company handling chats and Facebook messenger. I was quite new when this happened, and FYI we do not handle retention at all – it’s not part of my job scope. AHT was extremely important and I don’t want to grovel and beg a customer to stay.

For mobile plan termination, we will refer the customer to call our retention hotline.

For broadband plan termination, we will terminate it on the spot if the customer wishes. No retention workflow is implemented here.

*chat*

me: hi this is baloney how can I help you today?

c: I want to terminate my broadband plan. Your broadband connection sucks.

me: sorry to hear that. I need verification blablabla.

c: verified

me: ok so I will proceed to cancel your plan with us with effect from today is that ok?

c: why are you pushing me to terminate? You don’t care about your customers at all? I only said the broadband sucks I didn’t say I want to terminate.

me: sorry, you requested for termination of your plan so I am assisting you with it. Let me know if you want to continue with your plan.

c: NO. You’re PUSHING ME TO TERMINATE! What kind of service is this?!! You want me to leave as a customer?

me: no, that’s not my intention. So what can I help you with?

c: *goes on a spiel about how I’m the worst chat agent and I hate customers blabla*

At this point I was like, what in the actual fuck. As the customer went on and on I decided to take a look at the profile and BAM. The name of customer was KAREN. I shit you not.

me: ok so here is what we can do for you *insert applicable discount* if this is ok for you I will proceed.

c: great! How can I complain about you? Can I get your full name and employee ID?

THEN, she back spaces and wrote:

c: great! How can I give you a compliment? Can I get your full name and employee ID?

me: *grits teeth* you can write your feedback here! Thanks very much but I am not able to give out my full name or employee ID as it’s confidential info. You can see my name on the chat box right here.

c: are you sure you’re the only baloney in the whole of this huge company?

me: yes I assure you I am. Will that be all for today?

*chat closed*

2 hours later she used a dude’s Facebook profile named Jake, (maybe it was this dude all along and not the account owner Karen), and sent in a complaint about me to our Facebook platform and my colleague handled it.

She asked me what transpired and I showed her the chat log and she reassured me it’s not my fault as we do not perform any retention on chat.

PSA, we can see what you’re typing before you send it. So fuck you Karen or Jake for writing complaint then erasing it and writing compliment just to complain about me even after I gave the damn discount.

Also, I can’t read your mind. If you wanted a discount like the cheapskate you are just say you’re here to get a discount. We are NOT obliged to beg you to stay as a customer, fyi

I hope your internet connection drops during the most important work call of your life

What do you think?

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