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Buckle up, yall. This is a long transcript.
Let me set the scene. It’s me, a chat CSR for a major retailer that is both online and in store. And its them, the most annoying customer I’ve had in an extremely long time. Pretty sure it’s a Boomer. It fucking has to be a boomer. No one acts like this but a boomer. What’s it about? A free item that is a part of one of our most popular sales. We run it all the time. As it is so popular, items go out of stock. That’s life. The bright spot? It’s a long sale with over a month left. and a vendor who is pretty quick to restock. How do I know? It’s our brand and our vendor. Which for some reason this customer didn’t seem to put together despite it being fairy common knowledge? *rolls eyes*
Anyway. We don’t do rain checks like many retailers. And there was literally no other option besides getting him an alert when it was available again. We don’t backorder. That’s a rare occurrence. We don’t order a product specifically for this one customer to be sent to their store for just them, especially a free one. And no amount of temper tantrum was gonna make this thing available sooner. But that wasn’t good enough and so what you are about to read is basically a back and forth exchange of a customer who refuses to read and me having to assuage his ego until I have no more energy and just resort to repeating the same line over and over again.
My favorite part? The low key threats about my supervisor with the unspoken idea that I should be in fear of my job. The funny thing? My supervisor was watching the entire exchange. Another funny part? Calling the vendor is going to get him absolutely nothing. How do I know? We own them.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this more than I did. I also hope the formatting works out well cause this is long af. The likelihood of me coming back to tidy up any format issues after already having to remove any identifying info is very slim, ngl. So without further ado, the chat:
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***Cutedorkycoco***
Hello there. I hope you are having a fantastic week. 🙂 Thank you for chatting in with the Retailer. My name is ***Cutedorkycoco*** and I will be happy to check into those items for you.
***Cutedorkycoco***
Thank you for providing your zip code. I’m checking into this for you now. Please bear with me for about 5-7 mins while I see what I can find out. 🙂
***visitor***
The “item number” is “item number”- and my store has none
***Cutedorkycoco***
I’m checking into this for you now. Please bear with me for 5-7 mins.
***Cutedorkycoco***
Thank you so much for your patience. I appreciate it. I apologize but it looks like that option has been very popular. It’s out of stock in your local stores and online so it wouldn’t be an option.
***visitor***
Rain check s
***visitor***
this is unacceptable
***Cutedorkycoco***
I definitely understand your frustration. It’s a very good deal and it looks like a lot of people have jumped on it since when it started running in May.
What I can do for you is put in your email so you receive a notification when it’s available again. We aren’t able to offer rain checks. Would you like me to add you to that list?
***Cutedorkycoco***
The promo doesn’t end until 8/2.
***visitor***
what a pile of poop _I need some support for this unexpired offer
***Cutedorkycoco***
I can definitely offer that support for you! I’ll be happy to get your email added to the alerts. May I have that email please?
***visitor***
I want to know when the piece I chose is in my store -why can you not have me go to store buy the deal and backorder the product (free) that I choose
***Cutedorkycoco***
I want to make sure that I provide you with all of the options that we have available so that you’re able to take advantage of this deal. I did research everything we could do for you while you were standing by.
***visitor***
my e-mail: *email*
***Cutedorkycoco***
At this time, the option we have is I can put you a notifications list. I’ll be happy to do that for you now. Thank you for that email.
***Cutedorkycoco***
I have you added to that list. Thank you so much for your patience. 🙂 Is there anything else I can check into for you this morning?
***visitor***
I expect That “*my name misspelled*” is the face of Retailer here and that I will have that option at the *store name*
***Cutedorkycoco***
I wish I were the face of Retailer lol. I would love to be. Alas there are many of us that make up the company and do our best to serve our customers. 🙂
***Cutedorkycoco***
I’ve added you to the alerts list though! Did you have any more questions I could answer for you while we’re chatting?
***visitor***
this means you share this exchange with your supervisor and the Vendor representatives and I get some satisfaction there is some action plan
***Cutedorkycoco***
I have provided the best options that I have available for you. If there were further that I could go, I assure you I would.
***Cutedorkycoco***
I would be happy to assist with anything else you need today. Are there any other items you’d like me to look into?
***visitor***
I am also snail mailing *random city that has no real association with our company and isn’t even the headquarters so wtf?* with is exchange and that you ended it with no positive outcome and had no interest in resolution
***Cutedorkycoco***
I understand! I hope they are able to locate more options available to you.
***visitor***
best you share with supervisor
***visitor***
*email*
***Cutedorkycoco***
I have offered all of the solutions I have for you. I apologize that they do not meet your needs. Being that I have no alternatives available for you at this time, what resolution would you like today?
***visitor***
I certainly hope that your day gets better as your failure to offer so share with Vendor is not acceptable I want a rain check
***Cutedorkycoco***
If rain checks were an option, I definitely would have provided that to you. I apologize that it isn’t.
***visitor***
I was sent home from *store name* to resolve on line that has not happened
***Cutedorkycoco***
I am sorry that the store was not able to provide other alternatives for you.
***visitor***
and your refusal to advise Vendor is unprofessional
***Cutedorkycoco***
I am sorry you feel that way. As I’ve said before, I wish I had other options for you.
***visitor***
the only option you have offered was a scripted insincere dialog to make this “go-away” which is really poor
***Cutedorkycoco***
I am sorry you feel that way.
***visitor***
I need contact information for Vendor since your approach is to “bobblehead” through my concerns with no possible resolution
***Cutedorkycoco***
I am sorry that the resolution that I have provided you has not met your standards. Here is the link to the contact us page for Vendor:
***Cutedorkycoco***
*link*
***visitor***
Thank you and this transcript will accompany my responses to RETAILER and Vendor – as resolution is obviously not part of your customer relations profile of response to customer concerns ….
***Cutedorkycoco***
I’m sorry you feel that way. I hope, as I’ve said before, they are able to provide options that are unavailable at this time.
***visitor***
the “they in this exchange is “Vendor”?
***Cutedorkycoco***
It is whoever you choose to reach out to. If that happens to be Vendor, then I hope they are able to provide you with other options since we at Retailer, as stated before, do not have rain checks and cannot make an item that is out of stock in store appear in stock any faster than they are already have on order.
***Cutedorkycoco***
So I hope they are able to provide you with what you need.
***Cutedorkycoco***
Since I am unable to do so for this item, is there anything else I can check into for you?
***visitor***
Then why did it take over thirty minutes in this exchange to get the “Vendor”contact info
***Cutedorkycoco***
I apologize that I didn’t think to provide you with that earlier.
***visitor***
i guess you have done your best and I can ask no more then that – I thank you for your time and your responses even though they certainly were not helpful or encouraging almost a waste of our time cutedorkycoco
***Cutedorkycoco***
Again, I apologize that you feel that way. If there is no more I can do for you, I will proceed to end the chat. Is there anything else before I do so?
***visitor***
hope you can help another inquiry with solutions as in my case is not so -good Day !
***Cutedorkycoco***
Thank you again for reaching out to the Retailer today. Please click the ‘X’ in our chat window to close our chat and complete our quick survey. Enjoy the rest of your day as well.
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