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i start to think that my job is responsible for my depression and anxiety / addiction

i work as a telemarketer in a call center and honestly i can’t even take calls anymore, my self esteem is 0 because of the insults i hear everyday, my boss keeps telling me they don’t see or know you so don’t worry but i feel so hurt when someone insults me , my Brain refuse this job and it attacking and sabotaging me stop it because i keep coming late so frequently, i come home from work drained , miserable, tired and not in the mood for ANYTHING because basically i take the negativity of 100 people with me home, i am having suicidal thoughts and extreme depression lately, i lost myself in the way somewhere while working here, i am no longer motivated to reach my goals, the world has became dark and evil in my eyes, i got addicted to cigarettes, weed 6 months in the job, now it been a year and 8 months, and i can’t remember last time i was happy, idk if this is a personal problem or caused by my job…

What do you think?

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I have no one to blame but myself. I should have known when he said “I work in IT!”

I thought it was my stimulus!