Abuse

So I’ve worked on three separate campaigns and have endless stories about calls. But some of the calls that I take are…hard to describe how they make me feel. Technically they aren’t bad for /me/ because I’m not being harassed or mistreated. But someone else on the other end of the line is.
Let me elaborate. I took a call from a woman that was very quiet, very polite, and kept making negative comments about herself while I was helping her. Such as ‘oh I’m just so stupid, thank you for dealing with me, I always do things wrong’ and not in a funny, haha, I’m breaking tension with self deprecating humor. She meant it, she believed it, I don’t even think she realized she was saying it out loud. That was hard enough because she was actually really smart and really cool, and I kept trying to say she was awesome and honestly the fact that she wasn’t yelling at me made her better than most calls I get.
Then her husband comes home. She gets audibly uneasy and instantly apologizes to him, and he starts yelling at her. Asking what she’s doing, who she’s talking to, why she’s talking to me. When she tries explaining herself, he starts in with calling he by all kinds of names and being really abusive verbally. Then he gets on the hone and is really polite to me, I explain why I’m helping her and what’s going on while also trying to ask my coworkers and manager what tf I’m allowed to do when I hear abuse on the line. (The answer I got was, if they aren’t abusive to me, I can’t end the call or be abusive back). So he takes over the call and is, surprise, an idiot. And every time something doesn’t work how it should or he misunderstands me, he yells at his wife. Her fault. She broke it. She screws everything up. She’s lucky she’s married. Blah blah blah. Eventually the issue gets resolved, but I’m almost in tears thinking that I should be doing something and yelling at him that he’s the idiot and has no right to talk to her like that. Which I did once, I said flat out after he called her stupid that this isn’t an issue she could have possibly caused and we need to focus on fixing it instead of being dicks to each other. (I got yelled at by my manager for this).
How do other people handle these calls?