Love when you pick up a call and the caller proceeds to scream at you over their own stupidity.

I answer emergency calls for businesses after hours, or on lunch. The bane of my existence is pre-recorded appointment reminder calls. Because: 1. They confuse the FUCK out of old people because… well, because they’re old people. 2. No one thinks to listen to the message left before they call me. 3. Half the accounts I answer for don’t take messages. Only emergency calls. And these WONDERFUL recorded calls tell the patient to call back to cancel or reschedule; so they immediately call back

Normally I can explain the situation to the caller and make them understand why they got the call in a relatively short amount of time. Except for Beatrice.

Me: I’m so sorry about your wait. How can I assist you?

Beatrice: WHO IS THIS?

Me: This is 2clapsNaRicFlair, I’m an answering service for: insert doctor’s name here.

Beatrice: Well, that’s who called me earlier. Telling me I had a god damn appointment. I kept telling that hussy (yes, this was said) I didn’t want to keep that appointment because I have other shit to do that day, and all that woman did was talk over me, saying the same mess she already said! I told her to cancel it and she just kept on ignorin’ me.

Me: Well Beatrice, I’m an ANSWERING service. I don’t place any outgoing calls unless I’m calling a doctor or checking in with another patient to see if they heard from their doctor. So it sounds like, since it’s after hours, you got a pre-recorded appointment reminder call.

Beatrice: WELL IT WAS ONE OF Y’ALL! It was a real person and not a damn robot. I wanna file a complaint. Y’all need to learn some damn manners.

Beatrice proceeds to explain to me the entire situation, all over again, as if I was a new person. But this time she screams it for extra pizazz.

Me: Beatrice, I’m sorry you felt like you were ignored but the fact is, I don’t place outbound calls. I certainly don’t have scheduling information, AND it’s after hours. The office closed 3 hours ago, so no one is there. It wasn’t a live line. She kept talking over you because it was a recording on repeat. I have no control over that, call your doctor tomorrow and update your reminder preferences if this is such a big issue. Thank you.