In which we learn why a customer can’t reboot their own device…
warning: long, but possibly worth it. This happened a few years ago, when I was still new enough for shit like this to surprise me.
WTFC: What the F*ck Customer
Me, after a call in which I determine that the root cause of a customer’s issues can be fixed by them rebooting their wall mounted equipment…
“so, I will need you to go and reboot your fibre optic unit. Do you know where it is located within your house?”
WTFC: ‘yeeeessss…. it’s in my basement. But… I can’t do that. I’m going to need you to send someone to do it for me’
I don’t argue this, as customers can indeed have physical disabilities which would make it dangerous or impossible for them access wall mounted equipment, or equipment accessed via a staircase. However, I still need to inquire as to why they are unable to do so.
me: “that is ok, I can certainly arrange for someone to come and do that for you, but can you explain why you can’t do so yourself?”
WTFC: ‘so, umm. I can’t go into the basement right now’
me: “sure, but is this because of a physical reason, or because the basement is inaccessible, or…?”
WTFC: ‘it’s more a sort of health reason?’
me: “can you be a bit more specific?”
WTFC: ‘well, there is a skunk. In my basement. Sort of…. living there?”
me: *crickets* as I try to take this in… “oh. A… skunk. So, you can’t go down there because of a… skunk?”
WTFC, sounded relieved at how understanding I am being: ‘Exactly! So, obviously, *I* can’t go down there, so you need to send a repair person”
me: “no, I can’t do that – I can’t ask a repair person to go into a basement where there is a skunk. You need to call animal control, or trap it yourself, and then you can reboot it yourself, or we can send someone to do it”
WTFC: ‘I can’t do that – animal control will KILL it!’
me: “I think they just re home them, but either way – we aren’t going into your basement until the skunk is gone”
WTFC: ‘but my internet and tv won’t work until I reboot it! So you’re saying you won’t come out and fix my services????’
me: “I’m saying that, until the skunk is gone, no one is entering your basement. And if they do enter it, and the skunk is still there, they will leave immediately”.
WTFC: ‘I guess I’ll just wait until spring, then. They usually leave by spring’.
me, thinking ‘usually????‘ : “ok, good luck with that, and thanks for calling”
… they never did call back, that I am aware of, so I guess the skunk moved out, and they handled it on their own.