Knock knock knocking on bathroom floor, hey hey that’s not covered

In the Scam Home Warranty business, the people are represented by two separate but equally lazy groups: The Authorization agents, who deny claims and smoke like chimneys, and the technicians who lie through their teeth to snag a few extra bucks. These are their stories CLICK CLICK

I’m eating the absolute worst abomination of a meatball sub that anyone ever paid $20 for on doordash when the call I’m picking up erupts in my ear.

Through the din I can hear a customer screaming while a car starts up and begins driving away quickly.

Tech: “Perfect timing, I couldn’t handle another minute with that guy.”

Me: “What’s going on?”

Tech: “Customer didn’t like what I had to say and chased me off the property.”

Me: “Can you give me the claim number so we can get this on file?”

Tech: “Oh sure, almost forgot it’s #.”

Me: “Ok so this is a leak in the ceiling of the dining room?”

Tech: “No not at all.”

Me: “That was XYZ street in Buffalo, New York right?”

Tech: “Yeah, this is not a good area. It might say Buffalo but it’s more like the deep south if you catch my drift.”

Me: “Yeah I do, I know upstate NY pretty well.”

Tech: “Anyway, look this claim is gonna be denied and I told the customer, like an idiot, and now I got nothing to show for it.”

Me: “Let’s start from the beginning.”

Tech: “So there ain’t no leak. Customer lied to you guys to get the claim opened. When I showed up he laughed about it like he was some kind of genius. Guy’s got a plumbing issue alright but not like that.”

Me: “I’m listening.”

Tech: “Firstly, this house is in shambles. There’s a straight up huge hole in this guy’s bathroom floor.”

Me: “Is it in the basement? Is that a drainage hole or something?”

Tech: “Nah, 2nd story. Bathroom is mostly tile, I say mostly because he took something like a hammer to the tiles in that spot to rip them out but then started cutting with a mechanical saw I guess.”

Me: “Why in the world would he do that to his own bathroom?”

Tech: “He said he was hearing a noise beneath the tiles and wanted to fix it.”

Me: “Is he hearing things, this guy sounds pretty crazy already.”

Tech: “Well he was half right. I didn’t hear anything at first but then he said to run the shower and I’ll hear it. So I turned it on and yeah I heard it. Whoever installed those pipes needs to lose their plumbing certification or maybe they never had one in the first place. I’m leaning towards the later. Pretty much those pipes were just sitting there in the floor. They’re supposed to be clipped or have some kind of support to them every couple yards but instead they’re just sitting there. When you turn on the shower they start dancing and I can assure you that is only half the problem.”

Me: “What’s the other half?”

Tech: “They are gonna snap and then he will have a leak in the dining room, and the kitchen and pretty much the entire first floor since it will be flooded.”

Me: “Any idea how to fix this?”

Tech: “I could install some clips as a temporary fix but that line will need to be brought up to code and that’s no small task.”

Me: “Can you give me a quote?”

Tech: “I don’t want the job in the first place, you couldn’t pay me to go back to that house.”

Me: “It’s just for the claim, I’m denying it but I need a number or something.”

Tech: “So $500 labor and another $200 in parts and probably $100 for a second guy and then you’d need to patch the floor and retile the bathroom, I don’t know what that would cost but it would be pretty steep.”

Me: “That’s enough for me, I’ll kill the claim.”

Tech: “Do you want to know the worst part though?”

Me: “Go ahead.”

Tech: “He handed me an envelope when I got there for the SCF. It’s literally got $20 bucks in there. He said he’d pay me the rest after the call. I don’t think he had any intention of paying though since it might have been his plan to chase me off in the first place.”

Me: “You can bill for $55 for today without an auth number if that gets you the rest of the SCF.”

Tech: “Oh it does actually, thanks for looking out.”

Me: “I’m gonna notate the claim so that he can’t try lying to CS or something about you. You did this one right, don’t worry.”

Tech: “Have a good one.”

Me: “You too.”

Epilogue: tasked to CS call customer and inform not a covered claim. Pipes were not properly installed causing failures, per 3F not a covered claim. Pipes moving around is not normal, A2 not a covered claim.

tasked to vendor relations tech billing $55 for remainder of SCF

internal auth note do not read customer lied about failure to get tech to house, customer attempting to force coverage to make up for shoddy plumbing in home, customer chased tech off property

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