The perils of joint accounts
I work for a bank in their call centre, handling general telephone banking queries and transactions. This call will always stick with me!
C = Customer in his 50s M = Me
C: My fiancée and I have been going through my banking over the years and I’m sure I had accounts with you, I want to close them as I don’t use them
We manage to complete security
M: I can see here that we have two accounts, one individual and another in joint names.
C: Close them both and send me the cheques
M: Unfortunately the joint account requires 2 signatures to complete any transaction at all, you would have to contact the other account holder and both go to branch either separately or together to request the closure
C: That’s ridiculous! This is my money, I want it now
Why people think that this will make us change our minds and break the rules is beyond me
M: Unfortunately sir this is the only way. Are you still in contact with this account holder?
C: Of course not! That was another wife and another life!
Yes, they really were his exact words!
M: Would you be able to contact them?
C: I don’t even know who it is!
He then proceeded to reel off the names of 5 different women that he’d been married to. When I confirmed he’d finally gotten the correct name…
C: Oh forget it, no amount of money is worth talking to that bitch again after what I did to her!
Customer hangs up
Top tip, if you’re going to get divorced please sort out your joint accounts whilst still speaking!