The perils of joint accounts

I work for a bank in their call centre, handling general telephone banking queries and transactions. This call will always stick with me!

C = Customer in his 50s M = Me

C: My fiancée and I have been going through my banking over the years and I’m sure I had accounts with you, I want to close them as I don’t use them

We manage to complete security

M: I can see here that we have two accounts, one individual and another in joint names.

C: Close them both and send me the cheques

M: Unfortunately the joint account requires 2 signatures to complete any transaction at all, you would have to contact the other account holder and both go to branch either separately or together to request the closure

C: That’s ridiculous! This is my money, I want it now

Why people think that this will make us change our minds and break the rules is beyond me

M: Unfortunately sir this is the only way. Are you still in contact with this account holder?

C: Of course not! That was another wife and another life!

Yes, they really were his exact words!

M: Would you be able to contact them?

C: I don’t even know who it is!

He then proceeded to reel off the names of 5 different women that he’d been married to. When I confirmed he’d finally gotten the correct name…

C: Oh forget it, no amount of money is worth talking to that bitch again after what I did to her!

Customer hangs up

Top tip, if you’re going to get divorced please sort out your joint accounts whilst still speaking!

submitted by /u/JBB2002902
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