You’re Not Doing Enough

All the usual BS, ran Grammarly, I don’t do TL;DR, read the tale, and enjoy.

You’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t. Other than my catchphrase of “stupidity keeps me employed,” those are words to live by in my life sentence (though hoping parole soon) in call centers. Now for anyone who hasn’t read any of my previous Rants/tales, I work in a retail call center doing customer service. One of the biggest things that we see is customers who forget something at the register. It’s usually small items that are easily missed like batteries or items that are set to the side like TP of large items from our GM areas; however, I see days when I get people who leave behind the only bag that they paid for, I wish I were lying with this, but I had two of those yesterday.

This tale is not about those idiots; no, this is a special type of demon (and not the fun type that I hang out with on weekends), not this was a harpy from the far reaches of hell. Backstory, she called for an item behind; it was a small item, a drill bit, I think.

M: Me

HFH: Harpy from Hell

M: (Greeting) How may I help you?

HFH: Yes, I have to travel a great distance to get to your store. (Fuck, I already know this call is going south), and I came in today and made a purchase, and when I got home, I unloaded my bags, and my drill bit was not here.

*Yes, she gave me the play-by-play, I even left about how she pulled each bag from her truck with extreme care.

M: I am sorry that happened to you. I will give you all the information you need to take care of that.

HFH: Whatever. That was the main that I needed. I mean, how do you let me not take the main item that I came in for?

*I ignored the asinine nature of that statement.

M: I understand, those things do happen, and we have ways of getting that resolved. What you will need to do is circle the item on the receipt, bring the receipt to service, and get a refund or replacement for the item, depending on availability.

*I swear I could hear the steam whistle that came from her ears. I knew that a storm of fire and brimstone was about to rain upon my poor left ear.

HFH: THAT’S IT? DO YOU THINK THAT I CAN RUN BACK UP THERE LA-DI-DAH? (There was some incoherent rambling I tuned out.)

M: I am sorry for the inconvenience, we understand that you may not be able to come in tonight, so we do allow ten days to go in and…

*I was about to tell her that if she needed more time, we could accommodate her, but oh hell no.

*Hellfire hurricane in my left ear.

HFH: I WOULD EXPECT YOU DO MORE FOR ME! (WTF lady, we are going to give you replacements or a fucking refund, what do you expect, a diamond ring?) You know I stopped shopping and decided that I would give them a try, and you do this to me? I would expect your company to do more for their customers, and when I have an issue, you’re doing nothing for me.

M: We are willing to…

I had to take a minute after this one. I can not believe that someone would feel that we are not doing enough for them when we are willing to replace or refund the fucking item. We are very flexible with timeframes, especially with The Zombie Apocalypse of Stupidity happening. If she were really expecting to get something more for her stupidity, I would have been happy to pass her off to one of our jackass store managers who lost fucks to give about six months ago. I don’t get yelling at me because she left something behind that we are will to replace for her. I think with this call; I have found the level below the bottom of the barrel.