in

dumber than a box of rocks

co-worker – hello i have a customer in the line that wants to speak to you about ordering X service. could you take the call?

me – sure, go ahead and connect him.

customer – yeah i was just speaking to jennifer and she told me they couldn’t do a traditional install of Y service and when i asked for special treatment, she said “we don’t do that here” and she transferred me to you. so this is all i want. all i want is A, B, C, D, E and F for free like you have advertised and I want A through F free on my account every month and i deserve that because i’m a loyal customer.

me – sir we won’t be able to put A through F on your account. That promo is only for new customers.

customer – I AM A NEW CUSTOMER. i’ve never had X service before. now this is fucking ridiculous and pardon my french but i have been a loyal customer with you guys for XYZ years and i’m not asking for a lot. all i’m asking for is the same thing i get with Y. i’m not trying to take advantage i just want the same stuff i pay for with Y at the same rate.

me – i understand but it’s just not an offer we have available for you.

customer – as a matter of fact i’m standing OUTSIDE A STORE RIGHT NOW. let me go in and tell you what I see. there are posters ALL AROUND HERE saying get A through F for free.

me – realizing this was a losing battle. i’ll have my supervisor call you.

customer – yeah do that because i need my same plan and i’m not trying to get over on you guys i just want the same thing i been paying all these years for thank you very much.

context – this guy was getting A through F for free on his current plan. If he would’ve been willing to listen to me and didn’t have a little self guided conversation model already lined up before he started talking to me, I would’ve been able to tell him that his current plan is better, more reliable and cheaper. There’s no doubt in my mind that he canceled Y and signed up for X where A through F are not free. He sold himself on a product that wasn’t available to him and wouldn’t believe me when I tried to tell him the in store marketing materials weren’t ever going to apply to his account.

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A Fun Tale of Forgetting