“Just put in the algorithm!”

This one was from a few days ago, woman calls in because of too many mailers.

M= Me CW= crazy woman

M: Thank you for calling company name, how can I help you?

CW: I’ve called you people numerous times to be taken off the mailing list when will you stop sending me so much mail?

M: Sorry for the inconvenience, let me take a look to see what is going on. May I have your last name and zip code?

CW provides info, I see several listings meaning we’ve gotten her info from other companies but she’s never done business with us.

M: OK, it looks like we have taken you off previous mailing lists but we have since received your information from other companies so that’s why you continue to get mail. I can remove you from any current lists and also provide you with a web address that can help you manage any rented or sold lists you may be on.

CW: This is ridiculous! You need to talk to your IT people and tell them to put in the algorithm to make me never get mail from you again !

M: o.O

M: I’m sorry but there is no algorithm. If a company sells your information to us we don’t have anyway to cross reference with people who have requested to not receive mail. As I said, I can take you off any current list and provide a website that can help you with the issue.

CW: There is an algorithm, they just need to use it!

M: Would you like to share that algorithm with me so that I can share it with our IT and marketing teams?

CW: Well I don’t know what it is but there is one, I know there is.

M: OK well I have removed you from all current mailing lists and if you find that algorithm please let us know and we’d be happy to share it with our IT and marketing teams. Have a great day!

click

TL;DR: Woman uses word she doesn’t understand to try and tell me and my company how to do our job.