“I’m sorry for the wait, Karen, but I can see this is your first call to us and you were in the queue for two minutes, but how may I be of assistance to you?” Is what I say when I’m greeted by this kind of attitude when I too am feeling sassy.
Where I work, we have a policy that if something isn’t cancelled by a certain time you are charged for it and many people try the line above to get out of it.
Don’t worry though, I too am an ass and I don’t let people get away with that old chestnut.
Work is closed over Christmas though, so I get a few days of peace. Happy Holidays, y’all!