“I’d like to pay in food stamps”

Hey y’all. I’m glad you all liked my previous story. I have many years of call center experience and many interesting stories from a few different industry types. I thought you might get some entertainment from this one.

This story comes from a retail call center environment. I worked under a mail-in catalog company which its many magazines attracted hoards of elderly people. (And or otherwise bedbound/mentally ill/generally isolated folks who never left their house to go shopping so they would order from a catalog or over the phone)

Me: Thank you for calling ____________, my name is (beeeep), how May I help you today?

Whacked caller: Yeeeeeeaaaaah, hi hunny. Names Vernanda and im tryinna place a LAHGE ORDAH wit yalls.

Me: Hi, I’d be more than happy to place that order for you, Vernanda! May I have your catalog number? It’s on your catalog in the blue box.

Whacked caller: audibly licks her fingers and flicks through the catalog pages yeeeeahhhh hunny….tha numba’s 1374927. (Obviously not her real #)

Me: Thanks for that information, Vernanda. I can see your account on my screen. May I take the card number you’re planning on paying with today?

Whacked caller: Yeeeeaaaahh, good lawd no thanks. Why would I give you my card numba if i aint placed my ordah yet??? NO.

(Per policy, we were supposed to get payment info from customers AT THE BEGINNING of the call to prevent callers from wasting our times and cancelling at the end. But if they argued about it, we were supposed to just go with the flow.)

Me: It’s alright Vernanda, we can continue with the order and you can give me your card at the end. I only asked because of our policy. But please proceed with the item numbers you would like.

Vernanda: yeah that sounds about right. Lemme get…..

45 minutes later, after over 20 items, and after ASKING detailed questions about color/sizing/texture for EACH ITEM..Vernanda is FINALLY done with her order.

keep in mind, my supervisor was shooting me dirty looks because I was way over my handle time and I hadn’t even secured payment info. I myself was nervous about the payment going wrong because I knew I could get written up for it.

Vernanda AKA whacked caller: yeah alright imma think I’m done orderin wit yalls. can’t order no more cuz I maxed out my credit cards ha.

Me: getting nervous oh okay, so how are you planning to pay? Debit or credit?

Vernanda: Wit my food stamps.

…. …

Me: in total shock pardon me, you said you’d like to pay in….food stamps???

Vernanda: Yeeees.

Me: We don’t accept payment in the form of food stamps

Vernanda: ….oh.

…

…

Me: Do you have another way of paying?

Vernanda: Dis some typpa discrimination! I have food stamps which equates to a dollar amount ! Why can’t I use my FOOD STAMPS?

Me: Because..we are a retail company. We only accept payment in the form of a credit or debit card.

Vernanda: Well lemme open a credit card wit yalls then. Whatever just lemme get one.

Me: Ma’am we don’t offer store credit cards here. Do you have any way to pay right now?

Vernanda: getting frustrated I TOLD YOU, IM GONNA PAY WIT FOOD STAMPS.

Me: I will be disconnecting the call, Vernanda. Please call us back when you have a form of payment as a debit or credit card.

Vernanda: starts angry rambling with me —fucking piece of shit I just wanna make my order and go and then….

DISCONNECTED

I then turned to look at my supervisor who gave me a look of disappointment. He was aggravated that I, an $9 employee, had stayed on the call for over an hour.

I got written up for that call but was able to contest it later because I had tried to get payment at the beginning.

Thought you all might enjoy this story!

TL;DR crazy lady makes a $500 order in over 1 hour, asking me detailed questions about each and every item. By the time it came to pay, she insisted on paying with food stamps. She would not take no for an answer and did not seem to comprehend that a retail establishment might not accept government issued food stamps.**