"I’ve been a longtime customer!!" (as if that matters…)

Anyone else get this line from customers? I hate it. And what constitutes a “long time” because I have had people with two year old accounts saying it. I get people who are consistently delinquent on payments, get $2.00 late charges and then immediately start on a 5 minute tirade the moment I answer the phone. “I’ve been a longtime customer, I don’t feel like I should have to pay a late charge.” Yeah sure I have no problem removing the ones where it was a rare oversight or something but several times a year? Come on now…

Me: “I’m sorry they are all booked up for today with appointments that were already scheduled.” Customer: “Can’t you make an exception for me, I’ve been a longtime customer?” Yeah sure let me call another customer and tell them sorry we need to reschedule your appointment because a more important, “longtime customer” has “errands” to run tomorrow so we need to let them have their appointment today.

Customer: “I know you close at 5 but I’m running behind and I won’t be able to get there until 5:30…can’t you just stay open until I get there, I’ve been a longtime customer.” Yeah sure let me rearrange my own life for you. Not a problem, I don’t have my own family or a long commute to deal with.

Customer: “I just got my $150 ($75 labor, $75 parts) bill for the repair I had last month, that seems like a lot. I’ve been a longtime customer, is there anything you can do for me?” Me: “I’m sorry but that is the charge you were quoted when you first called and I cannot reduce it.” Customer: “BUT I’VE BEEN A LONGTIME CUSTOMER!!”

Or on a really fun day you get the double, “I’m on a fixed income AND I’ve been a longtime customer.” insert never ending eyeroll

I really wish I could tell these people that the amount of time you have been a customer means absolutely nothing to me. They are no more important than a new customer. I treat good customers, regardless of account age, the same. It makes it even more cringe since the line is almost always used in attempt to recieve special treatment like, but not limited to, getting out of paying for something or attempting to get a discount that doesn’t exist.

And I’d love to know how often that line works because I get it so much that it must work sometimes. Whoever started that deserves as much of a beat down as the guy who coined the term “the customer is always right.”