I work for a small, local ISP. I can and often do take all the calls – sales, support, billing & even managerial (when we are desperate). Billing seems to give me the most face palm moments these days, just because they are more varied than support.
Today’s moment was the opposite of what I usually hear. Normally customers call to bitch me out for shutting them off for non-payment or having the audacity to suggest they missed a payment back in October when THEY HAVE CANCELLED CHECKS! (spoiler: they never have cancelled checks) But today I heard from Shady Guy (SG)
Me: Thank you for calling internetsRUs, I’m Not. What can I do for you?
SG: <furious> Where do you people get off mailing me a check?!!?
Me: Um…? We mailed you a check?
SG: Yeah! I’m holding it right now and I want to know what the hell you are doing?
Me: May I have your name & address and I will check and see what is going on?
SG: To hell with that! I want your manager!
Me: <internally heaving a deep and heartfelt sigh. Because today we are desperate> Actually that would be me.
SG: Then explain to me what fuck is going on!
Me: May I have your name please & I need to ask you to moderate your language or I will have to hang up.
SG: <grumbles about sensitive women but give me the info>
At this point I have remembered what is probably going on but still have to confirm. I look him up and I was right
Me: Well, sir we’ve mailed you a couple letters in the last 6 weeks explaining we have gone to a new billing system that automatically refunds you any overage on your account once it …
SG: <cutting me off> I don’t want this money now! If I had wanted the money I would have asked for it
Me: As the letter explained sir, once the credit balance reaches $50 for more than 60 days the system automatically refunds unless you call in and ask us to apply it to any upcoming invoices.
This guy has been double paying us the same amount every month for almost 3 years, even after reducing his plan. We have many notes about leaving messages about it, never got a response.
SG bitches about how we are incompetent. No one told him anything. He knows how much he is paying, etc etc. I sit there in silence, waiting for him to wind down & debating with myself whether to continue this conversation & try to explain further or just say “Okay then, you have a nice day” and hang up. I’m also poking around his account. Eventually he pauses to take in a breath and I cut in rapidly with “Sir your invoice is now $50 a month. You have been sending us $160 a month since October 2016, when your invoice was $80 a month. We have a new policy in place that any credit over 60 days old and more than $50 will automatically be refunded and we owed you almost $2500.”
SG goes off some more & says he refuses it and he’ll be mailing this check back to us. I told him at that point he’d be hearing from our lawyer. <idk why I said that, not sure the lawyer could do anything about it> Suddenly he is calmer and I get a very terse “FINE! I just won’t cash it” and hangs up.
There is no point asking me why we didn’t just cut a check at any point in the past 2 years unless you have an Ouija board. The person with that answer died months ago & this lack of refunding is part of the mess they left behind we’ve been untangling ever since.
We can’t force him to cash it. All we can do is keep reissuing checks every 90 days. It’s entirely possible our late billing person has already been down this road with him & that’s why we have his money still. I suppose we can just return his check payments to him for the next 4 years until the balance is used up.
TL:DR. Guy gets angry we refunded him the money we owe him