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I don’t speak German but I do know the meaning of Schadenfreude! (warning: profanity and Australian Surstromming)

I have previously posted here and I’ve remembered another story from my days in a call centre.

Many years ago I had worked my way up into the Compliance department of a regional electricity provider here in Australia. Compliance was the team that was assigned to handle (you guessed it) compliance with the relevant legislation and to ensure that the company both got paid and stayed within the letter of the law. Working for that department meant that I regularly heard every kind of sob story on why the power bill couldn’t be paid.

Names changed to protect all involved.

One fine day at the end of summer, I received a call transfer from Julie who was a front line receiver. She was very upset and clearly trying to hold back tears as she begged me to take this call from Entitled McRichface hereafter referred to as Eugene because I hate that name. Now, I liked Julie a lot and I felt a vengeful angel take up roost on my shoulder as I accepted the call from her.

Me: This is Klarok in Compliance. I see that your power has been disconn…

Eugene: You stupid fuckwits shut off my power and wrecked my place! You fucking owe me $350k!

Me: I can see that the latest bill of $1,234.00 has been overdue now for 10 weeks and that several notices were sent to your place of residence.

Eugene: You’re a fucking liar you stupid cunt. I never got notice at all!

I’m going to eliminate the back and forth as I tried to figure out what was going on. It was particularly difficult because, whenever I asked a question, Eugene would launch into a profanity linked tirade before grudgingly giving an answer. Normally I would have simply hung up on him but my spider sense was tingling…

Me: So, to clarify, you have your main residence at 123 Entitlement Lane and your vacation home is at 99 Rich Bastard Drive in a completely different city.

Eugene: Of course it is you fucking moron…

Me: We have sent three overdue notices and a FINAL NOTICE to 99 Rich Bastard Drive and…

Eugene: What fucking good does that do for anyone?? I don’t fucking live at my fucking beach house do I?

Me: The address of record for this account is 99 Rich Bastard Drive.

Eugene: So fucking what?

Me: Our legislative requirement is to send all correspondence to the address of record for the account.

Eugene: Then fucking change it to my home address and get my power back on.

Me: Certainly, I’ve changed the address. Your future power notices will now be going to 123 Entitlement Lane. However, I cannot reconnect your power until the outstanding bill of $1,234.00 is paid in full.

I’ll spare you all the rest of the profanity but it ended with words to the effect of…

Eugene: Fuck you, I’ll fucking kill you you stupid prick. I know the Mayor and the Director of and you’ll be fucking fucked by tomorr..

Me: You have been advised of the actions necessary to reconnect power and you will receive a letter to that effect via registered post. This call is now being terminated due to excessive profanity.

I took a few minutes to compose notes on the account and then called Julie.

Me: Hi Julie, I finally got off the phone with Eugene.

Julie: Oh my god, that was nearly an hour. I hope he wasn’t as mean to you.

Me: Nah, he was a complete tool but that’s not why I’m calling you.

Julie: Why are you calling?

Me: I thought you’d like to know the reason why he was so upset. heh heh heh

Julie: Go on…

Me: Well it turns out that he has two properties. His main address at 123 Entitlement Lane and the other at 99 Rich Bastard Drive. He never linked the accounts because he owns the Rich Bastard address but it looks as the Entitlement Lane address is owned by a company.

Julie: OK

Me: Well the overdue notices were going to the Rich Bastard address but he only found them when he went to the property a couple of days ago with a few of his mates. Turns out that he had a number of large fridges on the property…

Julie: Oh no!

Me: …filled with bait for a fishing trip.

Julie: Oh, that would have been, oh my god!

At this point, Julie and I both lose it completely and spend the next few minutes in hysterical laughter.

Me: Yep, the power was shut off about 3 weeks ago and the fridges full of bait fish have been sitting there in the tropical sun for all that time. I can’t even imagine what the small was like.

TL;DR Wealthy man gets to experience Swedish delicacy with several of his mates.

submitted by /u/Klarok
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