Years ago I worked at a call center that recieved calls referring to questions about a couple of over the counter medications. This particular call was about a medicine typically taken for urinary tract infections and the medicine had a side effect of turning urine nuclear orange, this will be important later. I will me me and caller will be dumbass, DA for short.
Me: thank you for calling ….. how can I help you?
DA: this is a long story. I went on a first date today after taking UTI medicine and I had a terrible side effect……
Me: what side effect are you experiencing sir?
DA: well I’m really embarrassed….
Me: sir I understand that you may be embarrassed but this is a call center and if you cannot tell me what the issue is I will not be able to help you.
DA: well I took the medicine and went on this date, it was a first date (not sure why he told me multiple times it was a first date) and we went out for dinner and a movie and then we went back to my place where she gave me a blowjob and I came in her mouth and now her teeth are stained orange. She wont come out of the bathroom.
Me: (shocked and stumbling over my words trying not to laugh and to remain professional) sir did you read the drug information before taking the medication?
DA: yes and it said that it would turn my urine orange and that it may stain my clothing. It didn’t say that it would stain my jizz!
Me: I really do not know what to say here.
DA: well what can we do? Is there anything that will take out the stain?
Me: sir please hold while I transfer you to my supervisor.
Y’all… I almost peed myself. My supervisor took over and listened to DA reiterate the story and told him that the warnings are there for a reason, and that she wasnt sure of any way to help them with their situation. We all had probably the best laugh any of us had ever had in the call center that day.