"I won’t be back" An e-mail "story?"

I had a lady reply to every single one of the automated messages she received over the last few weeks YESTERDAY. She replied to ALL of them demanding to be unsubscribed. I checked her e-mail history to see if maybe she asked before and is still getting messages, but nope. All e-mails were going in reverse chronological order (she replied from newest to oldest), ranging from promos, new product de-mails, “you still got items in your cart,” and the basic marketing stuff. Total of 15 e-mails.

Because we want this to be customer friendly, and homely, the boss decided it would be great to give the EACH of the automated e-mail messages a name. This made reading her replies hilarious and annoying at the same time. My favorites were:

“Jessica, I already said to unsubscribe me.”

“Dan, I said, NO!”

“Jessica, How many times do I need to ask to be unsubscribed?”

“Dan, Why do you people keep messaging me?! I don’t want to order from you!”

I’m guessing she finally reached the end in her history, because I reached one titled “Welcome to The Company Family!” from when she initially joined. Her response to “Dan” was: “Dan, I don’t understand why you people still insist on messaging me. I won’t be back. For the last time Remove Me!”

I wonder how long it took for her to clear her inbox and if there were any other companies affected in her replying wrath.

submitted by /u/tooktheheart
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