I work in a fraud department for a credit card company, and usually calls come in transferred to me from customer service. I’d say about 60% of them are just folks responding to a text or email alert they got so it’s not necessary for them to warm them over to us.
M – Me D – Douchey old man
M – Hi there this is ****** with [credit card co] fraud, how can I help you today?
D – You have got to be fucking KIDDING ME that bitch didn’t tell you a thing?
M quickly searching for alerts on the account and noting there are none – I’m so sorry-
D – Why the fuck would that dumb bitch even answer the fucking phone if she wasn’t going to tell you what I need?
M – I apologize that she didn’t let me know-
D – God you guys are wasting so much of my time today hurry up! Fix it! *pounds fist on surface*
M taking a deep breath – Ok sir I understand your time is valuable how can I help you?
D – Fucking retard!
M – Sir. Please be respectful I would love to help you out, but if you cannot keep your language professional I’m going to release this call.
D – God you are unbelievable! Look at my account, LOOK AT IT AND SEE WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DO YOUR JOB! You’re fraud aren’t you!?
I think I can hear the vein popping out of his forehead so I look over the account, not too many charges over the last 90 days, all in person, all in his geo-location and nothing that is outside of his relatively low cost spending pattern of mostly gas stations and groceries so no I see nothing unusual, and none of the normal ‘this is fraud’ type charges that aren’t technically fraud and are just shady ass companies.
M – Yes sir I am in fraud. I really would like to help you out today and get this done quickly so you can go about your day I just need to know what charge or charges you are calling about today.
D – Dumb bitch, it was in December and it’s not my job to know how much it is or who made it, but it’s fucking fraud and it’s your job to see it! Open your damn eyes!
M – Sir. I have asked you to be respectful today. Name calling will not be tolerated on this call. You are not providing me with enough information to help you. I am sorry, but you only have 5 transactions in December and all of them are places you have history with.
D mimicking my tone in a high pitch voice – Be respectful, don’t call me names, I’m a whiny bitch (back to normal voice) LISTEN HERE LITTLE GIRL!
M cuts him off because I’ve had enough – Sir! I’m going to have to release the call when you have time to discuss the charge you can call us back.
I wait a second hoping maybe he’ll calm down and give me the information this happens sometimes.
D mimicking me again – Wah wah wah I’m going to hang up (back to normal voice) Go ahead little girl I DARE you!
M – Ok sir have –
D – I DARE YOU to hang up on me little girl! DO IT!
M – Alright have a nice –
D – FUCKING DO IT! HANG UP ON ME I DARE YOU! HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP (continues)
M – Have a nice day. *click*
Literally one of the most insane people I’ve spoken to recently. I was so glad too when he told me to hang up as though he thought I wouldn’t. It was definitely one of the best feelings lol.
/edit I can’t spell