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No…I do not speak English…

I recently lost my job and have been going over all the crazies that are no longer my problem as “therapy”. Figured I’d share a few gems. Here’s the first. Background: I worked customer service for a house cleaning company. I answered phones and made a ton of calls myself too. M= me, C= customer.

Lady calls in, with an Asian accent. It is thick, but I can clearly make out the words she is saying. Or rather, I would have understood her perfectly if our phone wasn’t continuously disconnecting.

M: Thanks for calling _____ how can I help you?

C: “Hello is this (company name)?

M: Yes it is, what can I do for you today?

C: I need (inaudible, static noises)

M: I’m sorry could you repeat that, our phones are acting up today.

C: I need my house cleaned.

M: Okay, no problem. What town is the home in?

C: (inaudible)

M: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.

C: I AM SPEAKING ENGLISH, DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I AM SPEAKING ENGLISH.

M: (speaking English this whole conversation) I’m sorry, our phones cut out a lot, I could not…

C: DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH??? I AM SPEAKING ENGLISH!! (hangs up)

Uh… no ma’am I was not just carrying out a conversation in English, I’m so sorry I clearly do not understand the words I myself am speaking…

submitted by /u/Elllllie
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