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"There was no traffic on my drive to work"

So, we offer local delivery. We use our own drivers to complete the deliveries. Because we are driving out of a major city, there is obviously going to be traffic on the highway/freeway. Sometimes the orders arrive a bit late due to this traffic. We do let our customers know approximate arrival times, but do not guarantee a delivery by a specific time, especially during heavy traffic hours.

This lovely gentleman (Let’s call him D) gave me the following conversation:

Me: Hello, this is Tooktheheart with ABC Company, how can I assist you?

D: Hi. I didn’t get my order today. You said it would arrive by 8, but it didn’t. It’s like in the afternoon. So where is it?

Me: (already wanting to end the call) So sorry about that, sir. Let me pull up your account. Oh, I see what happened. The driver hit heavy traffic this morning and the order may have arrived late. I can reach out to the driver and get an exact arrival time.

D: There was no traffic this morning.

Me: Sorry?

D: There was no traffic on my drive to work. The driver didn’t hit heavy traffic.

Me: (Is this guy being serious? He’s like 15 miles away from our distribution center. The driver is going to hit traffic. Where the heck does he work?)

D: But that doesn’t matter. I came home for lunch and there was no order. So can I like get my order? I mean, I paid for it.

Me: So sorry to hear you had to drive home to check on the delivery, sir. Yes, of course, we’ll be happy to send a replacement.

D: No biggie. I only work 10 min away, so it wasn’t a big deal.

Me: ( Are. You. Kidding. Me?! – _ – This is why there was no traffic for you)

Also, heard back from the driver. Order was delivered around 7am…so either the order was stolen or this guy was looking to get more product. Based on where he lives, the product was more than likely stolen.

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