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“My cats and I like to look at the TV.”

I work for a large cable company in the retention department. Today was just a normal day, customers unhappy with billing, service issues same stuff different day. Anyways I had a customer transferred to me from the billing department. The customer, we will call her T.B, wanted to set up a disconnection order for her account as she was moving and the new home owners wanted to set up services.

T.B.: I’m moving. I want to disconnect in 4 days.

Me: congratulations on the move!

Insert account verification, order entry, and random small talk paired with equipment return policy here.

While I was typing notes T.B. brought up that her services weren’t working for the last 2 days, I quickly checked for outages, checked equipment, everything was good on our end. So I offered tech support to see if we could get the equipment to start working again while she still lived at this address.
She accepted, so I stoped putting the disconnection order through as we can’t have an account set for disconnection as we try and trouble shoot.

As I was about to finish my notes and recap the call before transferring to tech support
T.B.: Wait do I need electricity to work your services?

Me: umm yes we do need electricity at the property for our services to work correctly.

-Turns out power company shut off her electricity 2 days prior.-

T.B.: oh. (30second pause) can you turn on my power?

Me: I’m sorry I can only start and stop you tv, internet and phone services.

T.B.: oh the electric company can’t come reconnect me for 5 days. Whatever just disconnect this account in 4 days then.

Me: since you aren’t going to use it due to the lack of electricity do you want me to just disconnect it now, that way you aren’t paying for something you’re not using?

T.B.: No I just like to look at my tv even if it’s not showing anything.

Me: I just want to clarify, even though you can not use our services without electricity at the home you would like for me to leave the services active for 4 more days?

T.B.: yes my cats and I like to look at the tv.

Silent for about 30 seconds..
..

Me: trying to use my best phone voice to not sound completely confused with the whole call. Ohhh ookay…. proceeds with the disconnection request and recaps the call.

This job is why I drink.

What do you think?

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